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Anyone else get a tiny bit jealous of couples?

(9 Posts)
FourFish Sat 24-Sep-11 09:06:53

Or is it just me? I caught up with an old friend this week and she is due her first baby in 2 weeks. She was talking about her husband and how excited he his and how he's taking paternity leave to help her - my ex didn't see the point of paternity leave. I'm geuniely pleased for her as she and her husband have struggled with fertility but i'm a tiny bit jealous that she's going to have that support all the way through. I know you can never predict the future but they have one of those realtionships that has survived quite a bit and i simply cannot see them splitting up.
I think I'm a bit morose today because its my birthday and while i know 25 is too old for birthdays i also secretly wish it could be one special day! My coupled friends get lie ins and presents and i get a teething baby and an overtired toddler after her first week at pre school. Pathetic I know! But some days its harder than others this whole lone parent lark

nametapes Sat 24-Sep-11 09:24:14

AAWWHh HAPPY BIRTHDAY Fourfish.
Have a nice day. I hope your little ones behave and you have a reasonable day. I am 52 and have 3 kids, 2 of whom are grown up. Do you know what i would do if i lived near you, and was your friend? I would come round and we would go out for a smack up lunch!! Or, I would have your kids for two hours while you go and pamper yourself, with a jacuzzi, spa, or whatever you wanted to do to spoilt yourself on your Birthday.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling envious. Many years back i used to feel the same when i was single , and with kids to cope with you just so envy the support they get with a partner.
I remember seeing couples in cars chatting and thinking, "God, they are so lucky , and dont appreciate how spoilt they are" .
I hope one day you will meet someone nice , who is kind, patient, considerate and caring. (all important qualities). Dont go for the good looking, sexy, full of himself man who is domineering and self centred. I have dont that 2 x and both fathers of my 3 children i have left because i picked the wrong one. I now have a nice man who is all of the above qualities, but not good looking. Mind you at our age ones looks fade anyway.
In my opinion, if you want something badly enough you will go out there and get it. So if having that partner is important to you, then take time and get on some date sites, and find a man who is mature and responsible enough to cope with kids etc.  Its the best way to meet people, when you cant get out much. All the best and wishing you all you dream of.
xxx

xxDebstarxx Sat 24-Sep-11 10:33:14

Happy birthday!!!!!

And I'm the same...totally jealous of couples.

AmIthatbad Sat 24-Sep-11 12:06:58

fourfish Happy Birthday. Me too, though, it's my birthday today as well.

And just like you, I would have loved a lie in and maybe some tea and toast sad

But instead up early, opened the lovely mug that DD had made at her Club on Monday and hidden under the sofa cushions all week, plus homemade card. Then off to her therapy session.

But do you know what, I am trying to be positive. I have a lovely daughter who is so excited about my birthday, so I am trying to act all happy and excited too.

And the sun is shining, so will get the school clothes dry on the line. And have no babysitter, but that's ok, because me, DD and Grandad are off out for tea together tonight. So it's not what I would have chosen, but that's ok, because I will be with people that love me.

I know it's hard for you with two little ones, but delight in them, enjoy the sun (if you have any) and when they are in bed, have one glass of something and I will think about you smile

nametapes I know that it is unhealthy, unhelpful, unproductive, but I get so upset when I see couples EVERYWHERE. I have even been known to well up in the supermarket.

And there may be some well meaning poster who comes on to say that not all couples are happy, or that loads of women make huge compromises to stay part of a couple, but frankly I don't care. I am still not resigned to being single and lonely for the rest of my life. And I have tried being single and coupled up, and I know which one I prefer.

It's years since a man has even held my hand, let alone anything more and I would give anything for that again (and I have tried)

...enough of the self-pity. Happy Birthday fourfish and anyone else who shares this day. Hope it's a happy one

Happy Birthday to the both of you!!!

I totally understand what you mean, Me and a girl at work fell pregnant within a few weeks of each other, Hers was from a one night stand and i was in a relationship, however by the time we were 6 months i was alone and she had moved in with the guy, i've been alone since and she has another child with him and a mortage etc etc. I know its just life but a little bit of me is so annoyed!! (not that I would EVER say that in RL)

I took ds down the beach a few months ago and ended up sitting on a bench boo hoo-ing as along the whole length of the beach i was the ONLY person on my own. Again i get that it was just a coincidence but it still hurt.

If i'm totally honest though its the little things i miss the most, general chit chat in the evenings, or when you want a opinion on something so little you'd look like a tit if you called a friend to ask, but cant figure it out without talking about it.

Oh well, I guess when the time is right(hopefully not when i'm 50...only 24 now) We'll all find someone who deserves us.

wine for the birthday girls!!

toptramp Sat 24-Sep-11 17:36:44

I do know what you mean. I am jealous of SOME couples. And then I remember what my past relationships are like and I feel that I am happier on my own. The trouble is I WANT to believe that that there is someone out there who can make me happy rather than the usual fuckwits that I go for.

I saw my married mate this avo and her dh gave me the eye. I have had several husbands give me the eye/make innappropriate comments. That sound so vain but it just reminds me how much I hate the jealousy part of a relationship and how I hate it when my boyfriends eye up other women. I do hate the fact that some women are insecure when I'm around as they feel i'm going to get their partner. There is no greater turn off than a sleazy married man imo. And you never know what goes on behind closed doors. Just remember that just because you are single dosn't mean that you are not complete or any less of a person.

I do get jealous but right now I think I'd rather have a fabulous shoe collection than a dp so I am working on that!

SoftKittyWarmKitty Sat 24-Sep-11 20:58:52

Happy birthday FourFish and AmIThatBad, hope you both had lovely days. It was my birthday a few weeks ago, the 5th or 6th (I've lost count) as a single woman (and single parent - we split when I was pg). I took the day off work and did the school run then went home and did...absolutely nothing. And it was great grin. I don't get to do absolutely nothing very often.

After DS came home from school my parents came and picked us up and we all went out for tea. Ok, so it wasn't a big party or mad night out but the people that matter were with me. It's worth noting, perhaps, that one of the very few friends I have forgot my birthday. Sometimes I feel like I'm not on people's radar at all.

Anyway, I digress. I sometimes look at other couples and feel a touch of envy so I know how you feel but it's not the be all and end all in life. I sometimes think I'm only compatible with myself confused but on the other hand it would be nice to have another adult to talk to in the evenings and help out with the bills housework.

FourFish Sun 25-Sep-11 08:04:16

Glad its not just me! I ended up having a lovely day - met my parents, sisters and nephew in the park and they took me out for lunch smile

And i actually have a boyfriend blush - he's just not involved with the kids yet. So I have hand holding but little pratical support. Guess I'm lucky in that (hopefully) and few years time he will be offering pratical support.

naSionainne Sun 25-Sep-11 19:55:50

I have been a lone Parent for so long,I struggle to accept a Man into my World.

I have tried a few,but none of them fit lol.x

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