Hi there
Any advice / reassurance appreciated.... my ex left me when I was pregnant and I have spent the last four years pouring my heart and soul into giving my daughter a secure, safe upbringing.I am a single working Mum and have finally got into a stride with a good job, daughter in a good school and she is an extremely happy, beautiful girl. My ex's contact was inconsistent for first few years, and his behaviour sometimes aggressive. He has always paid the minimal - I mean MINIMAL amount of maintenance (£100) a month. I do not ask for more as I don't want to rely on him and I've managed to make it work.
To get to the point... he is now trying to get more access with my daughter. It's hard for me to let go, but think it would be good for her to develop her relationship with him and good for me to have some 'time off'. The problem is he shares a flat with his girlfriend (this is ok) but also another girl. Now they are I understand ok people, but I am uncomfortable with her staying in a flat where friends of this girl could come and go. There is also no room for my daughter so she would stay in the tv room.
Also, she has said (with no influence from me) that she doesn't want to stay the night until she's 6. That she has no room and that she would miss me.
My problem is that he is now pressurizing me to make this happen and I don't know what to do. I guess I am resentful that I have brought her up with little help from him and now he wants to be more involved now that it suits him. But really my heart just breaks at the thought of forcing her to go, plus the fact she doesn't have her own room and that it's a shared flat.
I want him to wait until she's 6 and that bit more 'robust' but can he force the issue through the courts?
The last time she stayed for the day at his, she came home and said she didn't want to go back as he fell asleep in his room and left her with the dog.
He is a good Dad most of the time and only wants to improve his relationship, but can I stop him rushing things?
I just want things to stay as they are. I'm not sure I can cope with this pressure. I lost my father recently and it's a constant juggle to keep our head above water. I don't want him to create acrimony and break her bright happy spirit.
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worried about letting my 4 year old stay overnight at ex's as he shares a flat
10 replies
Didi6 · 13/09/2011 23:34
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