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Overnight stays for 8 month old

(5 Posts)
worldofuncertainty Mon 05-Sep-11 20:56:36

I haven't split from H yet but he hasn't lived at home since 1st may. He has spent very occasional nights at the house. Last week I took DS to Scotland with me. I didn't see this as a big deal as he's with me 24/7 anyway.

H is now saying he wants to take DS away for a couple of nights, really only to be awkward. Apparently he wants to go to the new forest with his parents and DS. He started off saying he wanted to take him for a week and I said no.

H has had him on his own for no more than 6 or 7 hours.

I think DS is too little to be away from me overnight. He sees his dad about twice a week.

What is the general consensus about very young children staying away overnight?

rubin Mon 05-Sep-11 21:25:25

I was separated from my Ex since my DSs (twins) were born & I was very adamant that there would be no overnights until they were at least 2 years old.
There will be a lot of people on this forum that will object to my reasoning but I stuck to my decision and still believe it was in their best interests and has helped their emotional development.

There is a wealth of research out there to say that overnight detachment from the primary carer (in this case yourself) can be damaging to the childs emotional wellbeing & development. I would say your DS is far too young at 8 mths to have overnights with your ex - particularly since your Ex hasnt been living with you fulltime.

I would imagine also that any court would deem it too much to introduce overnights now let alone a couple of nights.

Good luck with it all!

WibblyBibble Mon 05-Sep-11 21:32:18

H is being very silly. Contact needs to build up gradually if he's been away without contact for a while. My daughter was still breastfeeding several times in the night at 8mo, so I think it's far too young. Don't think courts insist on overnights until children are over 3 but it depends on the judge as some are mad I suppose.

hairylights Tue 06-Sep-11 13:13:46

What exactly are your objections op? At what age do you think overnights would be appropriate? Why do youthink it's "just to be awkeard"

More info needed if you want constructive answers.

STIDW Tue 06-Sep-11 13:45:14

Courts tend to go with contact little and often for very young children.

"Children under three may find staying contact more difficult than older children, so particular care and sensitivity is needed when making arrangements at this age." (p12 Time For Children - CAFCASS)

www.cafcass.gov.uk/PDF/TimeforChildren.pdf

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