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Split up with 8 month old

(10 Posts)
catwoman1970 Mon 05-Sep-11 15:31:44

Split up about 4 months ago and all hell has broken out recently.....ex has been going out all the time posting loads of pics on facebook. Going to dance clubs and I suspect taking drugs (he is 45) hanging around with 20 yr olds...I am fuming, he lies about when he goes out.

I know we are not together but he works nights so I have the baby every nite so I cant go anywhere, he then wants him 12 till 6 but we normally end up fighting.

He moved out of his mums this week and didnt even tell me, I told him unless I can see where baby is staying then he is not having hiim!!!!

Is this unreasonable???

hairylights Mon 05-Sep-11 17:32:36

On one hand you say he has baby from 12-6 but on the other you want to know where he's staying?

You have the right to know where your child is sleeping but not really to see it ... Of course you need to be satisfied that he's safe .... Is there any evidence that he's not safe while hes with his dad?

catwoman1970 Mon 05-Sep-11 18:19:44

He had him last Thur 12 to 6 then that evening he texted me his new address by mistake the text was for someone else...

He is living in a flat in a empty nursing home as far as I know, how do I know if it is safe if I have never seen it??

PatriciaHolm Tue 06-Sep-11 11:28:01

Your child has two parents; unless you have concrete reasons to believe your Ex's property is unsafe for the child, there is little you can do. You wouldn't appreciate your ex wanting to inspect your home, would you?

You certainly don't have any right to see it; I'm not sure you even have a legal right to the address, though you do have that at least.

hairylights Tue 06-Sep-11 13:04:25

What Patricia said. Unless you have good reason to believe it's not safe then you have no right to veto his fathers time with him. You made a child with this man !

catwoman1970 Wed 07-Sep-11 09:43:46

So he can take my son but he doesnt have to give me the address, does that apply for me as well as I will be moving in the next year. He comes into my house all the time so he knows it is safe. I wouldnt put my dog at a kennels without looking at it first it seems strange that I will then let my son stay anywhere, if that is the case I will not allow him to stay overnight yet then.

cestlavielife Wed 07-Sep-11 10:18:14

you split up so where he goes is none of your business really.

you have to trust him to look after your ds - or not trust him at all if you have genuine reasons. in which case you wouldnt trust him in day time either.

yes you can stop him coming into your home when you move.
it works both ways.

if you can trust him then overnights will be great for your social life wont it?

hairylights Wed 07-Sep-11 17:58:56

Yes. He's his son too, equally, you made him together. would you want your home and personal life inspected by him?

You should give each other your addresses, but neither has the right to enter the other person's home.

Also you don't have the right to not 'allow' him to stay overnight, as I said, you are both his parents.

hairylights Wed 07-Sep-11 17:59:51

he's not taking your son as in you singularly, he's both of your's son, stop being so posessive.

catwoman1970 Thu 08-Sep-11 21:13:59

Well he aint the best role model he takes drugs and is or was a swinger. But he wouldnt do that around the baby so I can just hope the baby is looked after, he had him today for 6 hours and even though he came back with food all over his clothes the baby enjoyed seeing him, so may take it one day at a time.

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