Exh having new baby

[McCharlieMouse]

Someone cheer me up please, talk some sense into me....

I'm having one of 'life is so unfair days'. Just found out Exh is having a baby with new partner, a half sibling for my DS.

I feel so weird about it, jealous I suppose. He has an affair, leaves DS and I and then gets to live the life of riley in a happy relationship with new baby on the way. The split from Exh happened 3 years ago and I've worked hard to get through it and thought I'd got rid of the anger and bitterness, it seems not.

Not sure how to get through this hurdle. I think its worse because I split up from DP a month ago and am struggling a bit with that. All thoughts of me having another child have pretty much gone down the pan alongside that relationship. It just feels a bit like one thing after another at the moment and I just want to be happy with my lot and not a miserable bugger.

Sorry feeling very sorry for myself, not a nice trait....

[privatename]

That must be so hard for you.

I know i would feel exactly the same (even though i don't want anymore children).

Do you live nearby? Do you see him often?

I have found that i feel awful at first (like when i found out he'd started seeing one of my friends) and i think i will never feel ok again but the feelings do pass and i really hope it's like this for you.

[McCharlieMouse]

Yes he lives nearby and see's DS every other weekend and 1 night in the week. I only see him on drop off/ pick up which is fine. Have never (so far!) bumped into either him or his new partner!

I'm not sure how the feelings will pass with this one, its just going to throw out challenge after challenge. DS will be all excited and I'll have to be 'excited' with him. When the baby arrives it'll be exciting for him. As the baby gets older and can play with him it'll be more fun at Daddys etc etc...

I can't even slag Exh off, apart from the affair and being an arse during the divorce he has now turned into Mr Reasonable/ Reliable and DS has a lovely relationship with him!

Arghh...I'm not normally this negative, I sound very pathetic and thats not like me.

[yoshiLunk]

I know it must be hard, - try to focus on those positives i.e. exH great relationship with DS.

He may well be excited about the baby and be thrilled when it arrives an no doubt there is lots of fun times to be had, - but don't forget he's all yours and you will be all his when he's at home with you, something that he may miss with his Dad, not saying he will be pushed to one side - but there will be another person ExH has to share his time with .

He will love his 'me and mum time' just as much you know.

[blackeyedsusan]

yeh.. babies are fab when they cheew on your toys and knock over your models and turn into toddlers the scribble and rip your stuff. and they take up a lot of daddy time...

[katewestmum]

McCharlieMouse you could always have another one!

[McCharlieMouse]

Thanks for the replies. You made me chuckle blackeyedsusan!

I am focussing on the negatives at the mo' and I need to stop that but its sort of hard as I'm feeling like stamping my feet and saying 'its not fair'. Exh gets to lie and cheat, treat me like crap and walk out on me and 8 week old DS but still ends up in a happy relationship with a new family. Meanwhile I get a second failed relationship.

Am getting on a bit katewestmum, would have to get a bit of a wriggle on with finding a new man and demanding babies!! And to be honest I'm not sure I want any more and I'm sort of off men after the mess of committmentphobe, scared of children ExDP! Its more the principle I'm fed up with....exh gets to have his cake and eat it!

Will pull myself together shortly and stop being miserable...arghhh!