Internet dating; I don't think I am doing it right!

[trickycat]

I signed up with 2 dating sites and have been 'winked' at a few times - by men at the other side of the country!
Also it seems that the men I like usually don't want to meet someone with children.
It's only been a few days but I feel like giving up.
Any positive stories? Or suggestions of where I could meet people? tbh I would like to get to know them as friends first anyway. Help!

[lubeybooby]

Don't bother with match.com - it's rubbish unless you pay and very few men seem to bother paying. okcupid.com is one of the best of the bunch and all free. pof.com can be ok sometimes but is chock full of complete idiots so takes a lot of sifting.

[gillybean2]

no advice sorry, i gave up on it (and dating for that matter)

[acsec]

I'm marrying the man I met online! Keep at it :)

[trickycat]

I haven't heard of okcupid so I might have a look at that. I did briefly sign up of POF a while ago and got a bit more interest than this time. Don't think I have aged much in the meantime

[trickycat]

Congratulations acsec! Go on, tell us more!

[Friendlymum67]

Parents Already & Dating for Parents - matchmaker.com found a waste of time but PA was a good starting site, friendly and fairly reasonable, met my OH of 2.5 yrs thro Dating for Parents!!

[acsec]

Well there were lots of idiots but DP stood out as being on my wave length and seemed normal so we arranged to meet in a busy pub where I knew there would be plenty of ppl and we hit it off - been together 41/2yrs now and getting married 2013.

We sent alot of emails and chatted on MSN for quite a long time before meeting. Not really much advice to give you, just be open to 'talking' to different ppl and if you decide to meet them do so somewhere busy and not too near where you live.

[elastamum]

I did a fair bit of internet dating before I met my lovely partner on e harmony.
Gaurdian soulmates was good, also did my single friend, but not enough people on it. Did try match, but it seemed full of timewasters. POF is a bearpit not for the faint hearted.

I liked e harmony because although it is a fag to set up, it sends you profiles of matches, so you dont have to trawl the site.

Dont give up. I also have 2 kids and am over 40, and I met a wonderful man earlier this year and we are very happy.

[trickycat]

Well, just been winked at again by a guy 120 miles away, too old and not my type. Time to delete my profile I think. Okcupid seems totally different - long interesting profiles, breath of fresh air after awful stuff I have read on others (one guy told big girls to put the ice cream down and get on the treadmill, WTF! another seemed nice until he started bashing someone, using phrases like 'you know who you are' Massive chip on shoulder there I think)

Is EHarmony one you pay for? What are the costs like?

[gillybean2]

You can usually set up your profile to only show you people within a certain radius, age eyc. Doesn't stop them winking at you though if theor parameters are further afield.

E harmony matches you with people and only sends you people who they think you are compatible with. Again you can limit the search to area and age groups.

I have heard positive things about guardian soulmates, but never tried it.

Although if you've fallen at this first hurdle chances are you're not ready for internet dating yet...

[Gonzo33]

I flirted with internet dating for a long time. Then 4 years ago, whilst temping, this lady told me she had had lots of disasters on pof so I said we should write a book. I did my profile, and two weeks later met my husband! We have been married 3 years now and have a gorgeous daughter. Before that I was a single Mum for 7 years.

gillybean has a point, you might not be ready yet.

[lubeybooby]

I really didn't rate e harmony either, not enough people pay to be able message each other.

[trickycat]

it is the selling yourself (not literally) that I find difficult. maybe I should drink before writing a profile and lose my inhibitions?! I know you have to have a bit of a thick skin to do this. Can you learn this?