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How did you feel?

(5 Posts)
itsnotpossibleisit Wed 03-Aug-11 11:55:54

It is DD's first birthday after separating. It was lovely this morning when we woke up and I gave her her presents. Her face was amazing however I felt terrible. I am a bit sad that she won't have a birthday with her dad and mum together (at least no this year and a lot of things need to change before this can happen). How do you deal with this guilt? How did you feel? Is this normal? I have explain her that she is having a birthday party and she keeps asking if dad is coming, I have told her that not and even though she seems fine with this answer it makes me feel really bad. Am I being silly?

Advice needed please, thanks.

P.S. I may not be able to read any comments until tonight. We are having a busy day smile

OneHundredPercentFucked Wed 03-Aug-11 12:30:51

Does she see her dad?

It is dd's birthday soon, her first since exp and I split. TBH, I don't feel too bad about it, I think I am dreading Christmas most of all.

gillybean2 Wed 03-Aug-11 17:36:25

Try and put a positive spin on it.

Perhaps say something along the lines of that now you and dad have separated you have separate lives so it's unlikely you'll do things together but that you both still love her and she gets to spend more time with eachof you doing fun stuff than she used to before. Then add (assuming you think it's likely) that dad will probably get her a present too for when he sees her next and that she'll get to have 2 special days now, one with each of you.

And you have nothing to feel guilty about. Couple separate and many families have separate birthdays and celebrate not always onthe day and not all together. Your dd will survive, and may even be come to be happy (not the right word but you know what I mean) at the prospect of 2 birthday's, 2 lots of presents, 2 parties etc.

privatename Wed 03-Aug-11 18:34:44

Hi,i split with my husband at new year,it was one of our ds birthday last week,he took ds away to his parent's 300 miles away.

It was a difficult day for me being without him on his birthday but when he came home we had our own little birthday with cake number 2,pressies etc...ds was spoilt twice and i think it was good practice for christmas as he may be away then too.

These things take time,it's all new and takes some getting used to smile

itsnotpossibleisit Wed 03-Aug-11 22:05:56

Thanks to you all. We have had a very good day even though DD has been asking if dadda was coming to her party. I had to tell her no a few times but she seemed ok after all.

I guess I am looking this year as it is my turn for Christmas so hopefully next year I may be used to the idea.

Thanks again

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