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Ex let children down for holiday - how do I tell them?

(9 Posts)
bubbles1510 Tue 02-Aug-11 10:23:50

With 5 days to go he has said doesn't want them for their holiday, will just do his weekends.

how do I tell them and do I take this back to court - although not sure what a court will do??

Haven't a clue what to say to them, any help appreciated xx

GypsyMoth Tue 02-Aug-11 10:24:41

Let him tell them. Make him

But court can't force anything, sadly

solidgoldbrass Tue 02-Aug-11 10:26:29

What an utter shit he is. But unfortunately no court can make a man see his DC when he has decided not to. How old are they? Are they old enough to understand that Daddy is unreliable and selfish ie does he do this a lot?

MummyPhus Tue 02-Aug-11 13:28:02

ILoveTIFFANY is right; he should be the one telling, them, but if he continues being a dickweed, and won't tell them, you need to find a way of saying "Daddy's unreliable and he's letting you down" without directly dissing him to the kids. My ex is arranging his access around his social life, and the kids are starting to realise that maybe they aren't top of his list, whereas mummy is always here for them...

You have my sympathy x

bubbles1510 Tue 02-Aug-11 14:58:08

Thankyou everyone

So sad for them sad will sit them down quietly and tell them, it's our last week off and they are having a wonderful day in the garden playing with friends so I am loathe to ruin that.

I wont be letting him tell them, full of crap he is. I will tell them in the way a loving parent should, and as kindly as possible, although I wont be skirting round the truth.

The bonus - they are home with me all holidays and we can have some more fun smile the best days are these and I adore school holidays, he doesn't realise what he's missing xxxx

bubbles1510 Tue 02-Aug-11 15:06:55

someone asked does he do this a lot, in small ways such as getting me to collect an hour early, dropping weekends because the kids have a party (seems nice letting them go but actually means he doesn't have to bother) small things which on their own are insignificant and in way ok, but actually it's controlling and this is about a little more control, dropping the kids last minute and with no thought to how they may now feel. gutted for them.

Problem is - could the contact order be reduced because he isn't even doing what he should be? To be honest I can't bear the thought of any more court, I have moved on, the kids are such a delightful bunch and so happy that any more pain is unbearable xxxx

blackeyedsusan Tue 02-Aug-11 22:37:07

do keep a note of it if he suddenly decides he wants more access to piss you off it will be useful to show that he hasn't used all the access he has available.

Gonzo33 Wed 03-Aug-11 14:36:25

I wouldn't bother going to court to reduce the time he has with them. It is a waste of money imo, and if he is anything like my exh would step up the contact at that point anyway just to be a total pratt annoying

MeMySonAndI Wed 03-Aug-11 15:43:13

Don't bother about changing the court order, to be honest it is too much of a hassle for the little things you will get out of it.

In my case, agreeing to a handover in a public place removed a lot of the problems (ie. arriving late, returning unreasonably early or late, or picking up in the middle of the night). The way it worked was to meet at a certain place within a 15 minute window, if he showed up at that time, fantastic, if he didn't we would just go on with our day instead of waiting for hours for him to show up (or not).

My ex was very reluctant on this but that was the end of the problems for many months.

Hope your children have not found it very difficult to deal with the cancellation of the holidays. But if they did, big hugs (and a sack of patience)

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