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How to approach this one ?

(3 Posts)
roseyposeysmum Mon 01-Aug-11 10:30:13

I need some advice on how to deal with this.

My dd goes to her dad's one night during the week and one night at the weekend, i am starting to get concerned by her diet and the amount of food she eats at her dads and the lack of running around she does, all she does is watch tv.

My ex has another daughter who is 7 years old and is in 13- 14 year old clothes, she is fed adult sized portions and can eat whenever she likes, but she is very inactive and chooses to sit and watch tv for most of the day. I did try to help deal with this when we lived together but they see no pro0blem with her weight even though she is obese.

my dd however if given the oppertunity is really active, at my house she never sits still and we are always out at the park or doing something. Everytime i pick her up from her dads she is sat watching tv and has just had takeaway for her tea, or pizza that he has cooked but adult sized portions. At the moment she is very slim - i do get told from the health visitors that she is a little underweight but she eats healthy and like a horse at my house, she is allowed treats but i have tried to get her into good eating habits for later on in life.

I am petrified that she is going to go down the same road as her half sister and know i need to approach this with my ex but how do i say it without insulting his other dd and saying i don't want my dd to end up like that. That plus relations are a little strained at the moment.

When i have tried in the past he has said he is allowed to spoil her when he has her, but this is getting out of hand, she was given a full adult lasagne on sunday with chips and garlic bread and her trys to get her to eat it all. it also means when she is at my house she says she in hungry because she is used to bigger portions at his and now wants pizza etc all the time.

niceguy2 Mon 01-Aug-11 11:53:23

I'd suggest for now just keep an eye out on the situation. Raising this as a problem will cause another fight with the ex over something you cannot really control him on and he'll probably do it just to spite you.

Plus DD is actually underweight so it's not really even something you can point at and say "See!"

If she's only going so infrequently I doubt she'll be able to load up enough calories over those two nights to cause her any problems long term as long as the rest of her diet is ok.

Just ignore her demands for junk food and when older, she'll probably realise for herself.

ladydeedy Mon 01-Aug-11 15:13:36

I agree. if it's not causing an issue at the moment then dont risk turning it into a big deal. If she's a bit underweight anyway then she's obviously burning up the calories. A good way to deal with her request for more pizza is just to say, it's important to keep the balance right - so then she does get the message that eating that kind of food all the time is not good for you, and make sure you give her good balanced nutritious meals.

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