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Need some help.

(4 Posts)
roseyposeysmum Mon 25-Jul-11 09:47:41

Hi i am new but need to spill my guts anyway.

i am a single mum to a gorgeous 3 year old little girl, ever since i split up with ex it has been a funny relationship, we have both seen other people but seem to always end up with each other, just not in a proper relationship. The reason we split was because he got very close to my sister and when a family argument took place he took her side and our relationship went downhill from there.

i work a full time job and also a second job to make sure i keep a roof over my daughters head and she has everything she needs, i love my 2nd job it is in a pub and it is my social life as well, as when i have my little girl i am limited to what i can do.

Anyhow my ex started to be very nice and visiting the pub with my little girl more often, i found out yesterday that he is dating my boss there. I can't believe that again he has to pick somebody so close to home.

I know i need to get over him once and for all, i have got a lovely man who wants to be with me, loves my daughter to bits, but my idiot ex has this hold.

I am now going to have his new relationship flaunted under my nose at my job and i don't know what to do, my boss has started acting strangley with me already.

I could quite happily just give up at the moment.

Sorry it's so long but has anybody got any advice


niceguy2 Tue 26-Jul-11 11:48:20

I'm surprised no-one's answered this yet.

Basically he's having his cake and eating it. He gets to date other women and see you as well. Win-win.

The reason why he's got a hold over you is simple. It's classic cat string theory. You obviously have a long history together as well as a child. Being with him would bring the ideal family unit back. But that's just out of reach....but not totally as sometimes he turns on the charm and you end up back with him for a short time. It's also a bit exciting. The whole will he/wont he. It's like you could win a prize!!

Meanwhile your current BF is there. He's already available to you so you don't want him as badly. As they say, forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.

So he'll keep doing this until you finally decide enough is enough. To be frank, he's no reason TO change. He's got the ideal set up.

berkshirefem Tue 26-Jul-11 11:52:59

niceguy is soooo spot on!! He's picking women close to you because then he can have the most control over you possible.

You need to dig really deep to find your best "give a fuck?" face, continue your job that you enjoy and don't lose this new guy over your ex... who I'd give any money is a complete loser.

Only losers feel the need to control the mothers of their children like this. Go on, what's your ex got going for him? Fantastic looks? Great career? Hundreds of intelligent & supportive friends?

roseyposeysmum Mon 01-Aug-11 09:24:38

When you put it like that what am i doing lol. smile

I have since told him that nothing is going to happen anymore and he is not liking it. He now won't let me in the house when i drop off my dd - but i have found my i don't care face and am going to keep it going. Why should he get to impact my life. Your right about the long history but it is just that history.

Thanks very much feeling much better now - have relalised i don't need anybody but me and my little girl.

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