Someone give me a virtual slap and tell me to stop being pathetic....

[McCharlieMouse]

....because I:

a) do not need to be a relationship to be happy
and,
b) should absolutely, definitely not text/ call ExP to tell him how much I miss him

[zookeeper]

Step away fro the phone. Go to your email accounts. Write him a long email, save it in drafts and when you delete it tomorrow (when you are feeling much better and remember why he's an ex) thank your lucky stars for umsnet

[McCharlieMouse]

Thanks Zookeeper!
Have taken phone upstairs in the hope that laziness (and the large just poured) overrule the desire to call/ text and be pathetic!

Had high hopes (too high??) for this relationship, first one since messy divorce.

[zookeeper]

Ahh I had one of those post separation -look on it as a inbetween relationship that at least moved you on from your ex .

Good idea re the wine lol

[McCharlieMouse]

Good point...! Definitely moved on from ex. Been with ExP for 18months ish some lovely times together, and I miss him hugely. Just need to get over him and get head back into it just being me and DS again. DS at a lovely age tho' so hopefully shouldn't be too tricky.

[slavetomyson]

Hi Charliemouse, good to see you seem positive.. but watch the wine doesn't make you go all gooey and thoughtful !! (I've sent many a dreaded wine text in the past when I shouldnt) - not to the recent ex though obviously..

[McCharlieMouse]

Just replied on your thread slavetomyson (probably not so helpful, but just to say hi)

No gooey wine texts....just a miserable half hr looking at some photos of him! Honestly anyone would think I was about 16 years old!

Trying to be positive, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. From experience I do know it gets better, so just looking forward to that!

[spursmummy]

McCharlieMouse I logged on tonight to post on the very same subject! I split up with my DD's dad 2 years ago, and for 14 months till last Sunday night I was having a lovely long-distance relationship with someone based in the north-west I've known for years; I moved from the north-west to the south-east 3 years ago and as I'm now on my own with DD, work full-time hours (which involves flexible working and working some evenings) and am still trying to make a life for myself and DD down here the long distance thing suited me perfectly. We communicated a lot via text, Skype and MSN and he came down here every 3 or 4 weeks and was good with DD.

But last Sunday he decided that as he wasn't going to move from up there and I'm certainly not moving back up north (DD starts school in September and we're both putting down roots) he wanted to finish it. If I'm honest it's been coming for months and I should've ended it ages ago, but I just didn't want to. The sadness has been harder to deal with than I expected, as has a vague sense of panic that because I hardly ever go out and don't work locally I'll never meet anyone again. This isn't like me, I'm usually a person who takes each day as it comes and makes the best of everything, so I need a virtual slap too!

Anyway, sorry for the thread hijack, I've been on the wine tonight too which might explain it I hope you're ok and hopefully we can get each other through this!

[McCharlieMouse]

Hi spursmummy, hope you've been feeling a bit better today?! The sadness and panic have taken over me as well. The sadness took me by surprise a bit...when I split from DS's Dad the overriding emotions were anger and bitterness! I remember being sad about the family I had lost but not the sort of miserable, sad, blubbing over photos stuff I seem to have now (I feel like a complete teenager, its very weird and quite pathetic!). I guess I have much more time on my hands now so too much thinking time (or should that be over thinking time?!).

I work from home so similar panic about how on earth will I ever meet anyone. trying to be proactive and have joined a local sports club to try and meet some none 'mummy' friends (I have lots of lovely friends locally but most have children - its hard on the weekends/ evening when DS is at his Dad's and I'm on my own).

Anyway avoiding wine tonight....!

[spursmummy]

Hello again. I have been feeling better today thanks. One of my mates drove over and took me and DD out to the seaside, and getting plenty of fresh air and sunshine has helped - as did a huge rambling talk with/at my friend while DD was trying to build sandcastles! I think you're right, over-thinking is not a good thing at all. I am slowly getting used to not constantly checking my mobile for texts from ex-boyfriend but it's taking a while, I feel more like a dizzy 16 year old than a supposedly grown-up 35 year old

I very rarely get any free evenings to myself so I'm well and truly stuck at home. I'd love to get out more to meet more people and do more things for me (such as go swimming regularly); I think expanding your social circle by joining the sports club is a great idea. I hope your day has been better too.