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Heavy weight of responsibility

(7 Posts)
MatureUniStudent Sun 17-Jul-11 17:36:05

My little one has a heart condition and we spent Saturday night in A&E (Ambulance intake). He has to go into hospital tomorrow. I had to drag another child along as I could not leave them. I am perfectly OK at doing everything I have to do, but it is so hard not having any arms around me when I weep in private. I get so scared too. And that's OK because I know I am one strong mama! But boy oh boy, it is when this happens that I really feel such a SINGLE parent.

How does everyone else manage? Because this is the only time that I falter slightly in the single parenting lark.

anothermum92 Sun 17-Jul-11 19:56:13

Message withdrawn

corlan Sun 17-Jul-11 22:47:37

Another hug here! I've spent many a long night in hospital with my youngest and, thinking about it, I don't manage very well. I think I just try to shut down my emotions - I never cry, even though I'm terrified. It's probably not the best way of dealing with things but it's the only way I can get by.

We have to be strong and cope on our own - we have no choice.

The one thing that helps keep my emotions at bay is that I know other mothers whose children get a lot sicker than mine.

I hope everything goes well tomorrow for you and your little boy. I hope that his health improves. One day, he will realise everything that you have done for him and appreciate how much you love him.

belleshell Mon 18-Jul-11 19:37:53


life at times can be shit as a single parent and we all need a hug every now and then. sending you and your little by all the strength to get throu this week.

littlefirefly Mon 18-Jul-11 19:54:32

I'm sorry about your little one, I hope everything has gone well in hospital today.

My DS has ASD and other related conditions. He's had quite a lot of clinical intervention and I understand the feeling of loneliness and the weight of responsibility. I've had to make a lot of life-changing, major decisions on my own without anyone to discuss them with and I'm sure you have too.

What I've found really helpful is getting in touch with parents of other children with his condition. Is there a charity which supports his heart condition, or you could try Contact A Family as well if it's a rare condition? Locally we have monthly support meetings for parents of disabled children too which I find helpful, there is probably something close to you in your area.

Do make sure you're getting all the help you need, including respite and financial help. DS gets DLA which means I can get Carer's Allowance, so I don't work and I can focus on DS and his appointments and meetings etc.

One thing that I find comforting is that I know quite a few parents where the father is often in denial and there is a lot of conflict between the parents deciding what kind of treatment/therapy to use. At least I'm relieved that I don't have to deal with that, once I've decided what is right for DS my word is final (his father has no contact or involvement at all).

chubbasmum Mon 18-Jul-11 21:28:26

big hug from me too xx

MatureUniStudent Tue 19-Jul-11 22:25:12

I cannot tell you how much you all lifted my spirits. I felt so utterly alone and I am so grateful for your supportive hugs and concern. Thank you.

As weird as it sounds, virtual hugs did the job when real life hugs just were not going to happen. So thank you again.

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