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making new friends for me and dcs

(10 Posts)
redhappy Sun 17-Jul-11 11:28:07

I separated from my dcs father in April. We have moved to our hometown, got somewhere to live, schools and finances etc sorted.

Everything is fine, but I'm really struggling this weekend. The loneliness has hit me hard. It has always been me and dcs on our own. Ex was always stoned, asleep, or being so unpleasant we would get out the house. I was lonely then, but I accepted it, ignoted it....I don't know.

So, -iw we have left that life behind. I'm happy, the children are happy. We have a nice life now, I have hobbies. But I'm bored and lonely. Everyone. else is busy with their lives and their families.

Ds starts school in sept. Maybe I will meet other people there. He has sn though, its. unlikely he will make friends so I'm not going to get to know people that way.

Does anyone go to any groups for single mums? I'm wondering about starting something. Even if its just games and snacks, and adult conversation one afternoon a month in a church hall. How do you meet other single mums? Or just make friends for yourself and your children?

divorcedrama37 Sun 17-Jul-11 11:46:33

That is really hard for you, Im lucky to have a lot of friends around me to support since my separation and divorce and dont know what I would do without them. You say you are in your hometown? Are you able to re connect with old friends? Are you on facebook? I have made contact with lots of old friends from school etc that way and are in the same situ as me so its added support. I would try the local council to see what support groups are in your area too, and yes when the little one starts school there will be lots of opportunity to meet new people through school events etc. Is there anyone from where you were living with hubby that can come and visit for a weekend and spend some time? I know the loneliness is hard, I would also recommend a good movie or book too to pass the time xxx It will get better x

mummytime Sun 17-Jul-11 11:53:25

How old is DS? Are there any play schemes for SN kids in your area? Any support groups for your sons SN? Is there a Gingerbread group? Any groups related to your hobbies?
In September can you volunteer to help with the PTA? Set up coffee meetings, or a filling Jolly Jar evening for the Christmas fair.

The great thing is, you can invite people back to your place, you don't have your X there. I would think that is a great thing.
The other thing is the internet is a great way to connect to people.

redhappy Sun 17-Jul-11 12:00:53

Thanks for replying. I have moved about a lot, so I'm in the town I was born in. Didn't go to school here though. I do have friends here, just need a few more!

I think its difficult with my son. We are in a flat currently, sitting down to watch a dvd is a big ask of him! So we end up going out a lot. I'm so proud of him, but he can be a bit relentless. He is autistic, and his current obsession is bus timetables. I suppose I'm thinking if there were other adults to talk to it would ne a change of topic at least!

Anyway, I'm going to stop complaining now my dads taking us out to soft play this afternoon. I feel like I've 'fixed' everything else and I just need to be patient on this one.

redhappy Sun 17-Jul-11 12:07:46

Whilst writing this I've realised I'm trying to fill my time so I don't have to think about what's happened.

There are sn groups, haven't managed to get to one yet but hopefully will meet people there.

But you are TOTALLY right about having people to visit. I hadn't realised I was still avoiding that, thankyou for pointing it out!

cestlavielife Sun 17-Jul-11 21:17:50

thing is you more likely to have things in common with SN families than "single parent" groups. go for meeting SN parents locally get involved with parent forums and so on. ask contact a family about local parent groups and at child development centre . in september start a group at his school. etc

how old are the dc ?

xxkezaxx Sun 17-Jul-11 22:04:26

hello all im new to this, im a lone parent to 2 sons whos 5 and 2 i would like to meet other parents weather lone parents or not i dont mind i like getting out and about but not really finding many places to go iam happy to travel around tyne and wear ive just been told from my doctor that i have arthritis in both legs and both hips which i really already knew i had but i dont let it put me of getting out and about if anyone would like a chat let me know thanks kerry x

Mollymax Sun 17-Jul-11 22:43:34

Don't be shy at the school gates, if I have learnt anything from Mumsnet, it is that a lot of mums would love to talk to other mums at school.
Go up to one or two of them and ask them back for coffee. Chat about anything, be friendly and hopefully you will make a few friends with the other mums.

redhappy Tue 19-Jul-11 21:10:19

Thanks for replying. going to seek out more support groups, and make a point of being friendly, and not shy to approach others come September.

It's difficult not to get impatient adjusting to this new life, but I've made sure to plan lolots of fun things for this weekend.

WillIEverBeASizeTen Tue 19-Jul-11 22:44:08

Red Your post struck a ex was exactly the same and I remember that loneliness being worse than any other kind of loneliness!

Ok, you may be lonely but you have peace of mind, that is priceless. SN groups are really good for making friends. Parents are genuinely interested in other parents, and usually very caring. This is definitely a good way of meeting people.

What I would say is, try not to be so anxious about 'adjusting', it's very early days for you. You are very vulnerable at the moment, so don't try too hard to 'adjust', it will happen, give it time.

Good luck OP, you're doing a marvelous job smile

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