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What to do when he's just not interested

(4 Posts)
Steeplearningcurve Fri 15-Jul-11 22:17:36

Mr dd's dad always said he cared about her and wanted to be involved. She is 10wo and he hasn't been in touch for 3 weeks. Feeling down and would be great to hear from anyone who has come out of this the other side. Can deal with him rejecting me but not my beautiful dd.

gillybean2 Sat 16-Jul-11 08:48:35

The only thing you can do is accept his actions are not your responsibility.
If he chooses to ignore your wonderful dd then that is his loss.
It does hurt, but once you start to let go if it and realise he is an adult and his actions are outside of your control and you get on with dealing with that, you'll find it easier to deal with it.

My ds asks me why his dad doesn't like him. Because in his head that's the only reason he can think his dad doesn't see or contact him. I tell him his dad doesn't even know him so how can he not like him when he doesn't know anything about him. I tell him that I know him, that he is wonderful, and I love him very much.
I still wish I could protect him from the hurt and upset he feels at being rejected, but I accept now that I can't change things so just have to deal with how things are as best I can and make sure my ds feels secure and loved regardless.

newhorizon Sat 16-Jul-11 22:21:47

Totally agree with gillybean2. Ex walked out when my dd was 4 in Jan and is not prepared to be in her life at all. It took me a long time to accept this but as gillybean2 said you can't control his actions. You can just do your best to make sure your dd feels secure and loved.

My dd was devastated but I got her help and she is now starting to come out the other side and returning to the happy child she once was.

Stay strong for you and your dd, you'll get there.

Thumbwitch Wed 03-Aug-11 17:01:45

Argh, am not in your position but cannot understand at all how people (mostly men) can do this to their children!

So sad. Hope the children do all come to realise that it is their missing father's loss, not their loss; and that they all grow up to be wonderful credits to their strong mums.

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