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Recently split from Partner

(6 Posts)
Bizkit Fri 15-Jul-11 16:36:27

I wrote a message on here a while back, me and the OH werent getting on too well, alot of money issues, attitudes towards it totally different.
Anyway after him saying he was gonna move out a good few times and not acting on it, I sat down and had a chat with him. We decided to have a trial seperation, get some space, maybe sort money abit. He said he still loved me and wanted things to work but knew it was best to have a bit of space, if all went well and we started getting on better once a few stresses where solved we'd think about giving it another go, maybe see a relationship therapist.

Things were going alright, he still lived here and was looking about for a place, then he started banging on at me to call the council etc to claim what I needed and I didnt want to call them till he went, so that caused a few arguments.

Recently he's started acting a bit silly, bought a stupid car, even though we still have other loans to sort and then there was a girl came into question, he spent an afternoon out with her and then when on to pub with her, never even call me or kids, and there is a question mark over whether he stayed the night at hers.

Ive now told him theres no trial seperation bollocks, Im not gonna have the doubt and worry over whether he has/wants anything from this girl. He doesnt realise how hurtful it is for me, knowing he was out having a lovely afternoon with this woman he barely knows and ive never met, whilst Im stuck at home with the kids and his dog (who's a bit of a nightmare)

So thats it Im on my own, part of me feels relieved I dont have to put up with his crap anymore and part of me feels miserable about the whole thing.
He's moved out now and staying at a mates, but I dont know where he goes in the evenings, he comes to see the kids before they go to bed, but always seems in a hurry to go.

I may post on here alot as I dont see things going along the getting along civil lines as he seems to be going off the rails abit.

MotherOfNations Fri 15-Jul-11 22:53:24

sounds to me like the whole trial separation thing was him wanting to have his cake and eat it too. In a mans head a trial separation is a chance to mess around without feeling that he's doing wrong. It will get easier and you'll start to enjoy it being just you and the kids. You get to watch what you want on t.v, eat what you want for dinner,the toilet seat will always be down....the list is endless. Go and write one.

elbie Fri 15-Jul-11 23:37:42

I could have written your post myself OP My Ex moved out 6wks ago to get some 'head space' and went completely off the rails, acting like he was 21 again! he has recently told me he will not be coming back home so i now must move house and adjust to life as a single mother.
Don't really have any advice just wanted to let you no your not alone. it's my DS i feel horrible for. he's only 15m so doesn't really no what is happening but i do worry about his future, i am determined to stay civil even friends with my ex for the sake of DS.

Anway sorry for hijack but stay strong

Bizkit Sat 16-Jul-11 16:54:16

Thanks, it's getting slightly better, I just feel slightly fucked off at the moment that he goes out and does what he wants and I'm stuck at home.
I'm looking forward to the positives of being single.
Just have to hope he grows up a bit and starts putting his kids first.

mrscolour Sat 16-Jul-11 17:34:50

Good luck with everything. I'm 5 months down the line after my separation and I'm really glad to be single. You might want to try and get some sort of proper contact sorted soon. My ex used to come and see the kids at bedtime and it just became really disruptive and usually ended up with an arguement.

Good luck with getting everything sorted. We're here if you need us!

itsnotpossibleisit Sat 16-Jul-11 19:58:32

Bizkit you will see is the best thing that has never happen to you. Probably not right now but very soon. SImilar situation and I have never regreted the desicion. I am much better on my own with DD and the best thing is that now I do have the chance to get some time on my own which while living with my ExP I never had since DD was borned.

Enjoy you new life and stop thinking what he is doing while you are at home with the children. He will miss a lot of nice things that you will have and that does not have a price grin

Good luck

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