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Help! advice please, Domestic Violence/child contact

(7 Posts)
Rosa1988 Fri 15-Jul-11 15:43:44


Ill try to keep this short :\
i was in an abusive relationship, and ended up falling pregnant. the abuse/violence got worse so i reported it all to the police.
went through the courts and got orders against him, he ended up in prison for a few months over it all. since then i have had no contact with him AT ALL due to the violence etc, i had the baby without him, he had no part what so ever. (not even on birth certificate)
I have since found out he has had a baby with someone else.(doesnt bother me but i think it has prompted this..)
i recently received a letter from a solicitors requesting he have regular contact with my child. This is a huge shock to me as I havent even told him i had a child etc.
I do not want him anywhere near me or my child as the violence in the past has left me in fear of him and his possible actions.
He will always be a threat to me and more importantly my child who is nearly 2.
How easy is it for him to get contact sorted through the courts? will they allow him to even with his criminal past? (he has been in prison a few times, and had restraining orders against him etc).

I feel that due to him not having an emotional bond with my child, he is capable of anything!!

any advice would be brilliant thanks!

Meglet Fri 15-Jul-11 15:55:46

Go straight to womens aid, you can google their home page. They should be able to help.

If he's serious then I hope Womens Aid will be able to arrange a contact centre. I wouldn't let someone like that just take my child out without proving himself first.

GypsyMoth Fri 15-Jul-11 16:30:04

He will be very likely to be granted contact of some sort. Maybe indirect.

The courts look at his life now. Has he attempted to turn himself around?

Rosa1988 Fri 15-Jul-11 16:34:55

Meglet - I was helped in the past by a DV womens charity, whom I still get help from. they suggested a Solicitor, which i am going to definately get.
The thing is, i dont want any contact between him and my child at all, he is a dangerous individual - supervised or not.

ILoveTIFFANY - what is indirect contact? I think my worst fears are about to happen.. sad

GypsyMoth Fri 15-Jul-11 17:02:34

Indirect probably not suitable, just seen your dc is 2

So, likely to be supervised in a contact centre, but this is usually to build a relationship before moving out if the contact centre

This is what happened when I left my abusive ex h. It will be down to him then to prove ex didn't do well, got into further trouble and ended up with zero access.

GypsyMoth Fri 15-Jul-11 17:04:39

One thing tho. I was so worried about ex previous violence that a forensic psychiatric assessment was done on him. Not nice reading when it was completed

PinkCarBlueCar Fri 15-Jul-11 19:59:24

National Association of Children's Contact Centres - lots of info not just about contact centres (you need fully supervised contact) but also the different types of contact.

Indirect contact would be phone calls, skype / webcam, letters, photos, cards. In your case, the letters, photos and cards would be the place to start.

As ILove says, it is very likely that he will be granted contact by a court. So if you give him an opportunity to show what a fuckwit he is to show a commitment to bonding with your DC via indirect contact, then you have something from current times to show the court how he is.

I think court may be a while off yet, and that's another reason to offer indirect - it will either show he has turned his life around, or more likely, show his true intentions.

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