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maintenance and childcare

(58 Posts)
Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 19:45:21

in August of last year I was Parent with care, then we went to court my ex said she was moving to taunton and The judge decided she would be resident parent, two weeks after this my ex went to the CSA! In January she told me she was moving back to live with her BF, and that I could have the kids on the wednedsay night as well! I currently pay £407 a month, which after rent, food, bills, petrol (I work 50 miles from where i live) etc, I am left with £16 disposable income, I pay so much as My ex has lied to the CSA as to exactly how many nights i have the kids and despite reams of evidence they simply ask her and she say's no! My assessment was based on futuristic cnight calculations as historically i was seen as the parent! Anyway tonight she asked if i had put in place child care arrangement for after school on the wednesday As she says i should pay for this eventhough i do not know why childcare after school on a wednesday should differ to that of any other day! I feel that if I don't pay she will refuse me the wednesday night, however, if i do pay this will negate any financial benefit of having the children an extra night! I feel the only option is to go back to court ask for the court order to be removed and a new one put in place as she no longer lives 180 miles away, but no that this may upset the kids as she will tell them i am doing this, also I don't know where i would get the money to pay for the court fees! I can't get legsal aid as I earn to much and they do not take into account outgoings.... any advice warmly received! Please note i am a father that wnats to be part of his children's life and pay fairly for what they need!

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 10-Jul-11 20:03:36

how much do you earn, how many children do you have and how often do you have them.

Latemates Sun 10-Jul-11 20:18:44

Hi Paul, sorry to hear your hassles. Go to your mp and ask them to support an application into a review of you case. And record every conversation with the CSA as their stories change so much you'll think your going mad. Families need father and nasca are also helpful and you'll see just how many people are going through this.

Do you think she moved to get the children intoner care and always planned to move back or do you think it just didn't work out in in new area?

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 20:26:42

I have them 107 nights a year, well i will have by the end of the holidays, I have had them 76 nights already with according to the court order 31 nights left until the csa assessment year is run, bearing in mind this is the first year i have been liable for csa, in the 2 years prior, i never claimed csa, despite having the children 9 days and nights a fortnight and she kept the child benefit and claimed the working tax and child care credits! I have two children, I earn £1900 A month after tax and from that pay amongst other things, £675 rent (already downsized to a two bed flat as that is the ssmallest i could get and still have my kids) 340 petrol to get to work, council tax of 120 plus bills and food!

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 20:26:59

oh and £407 maintenance

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 20:36:26

Hi Latemates,

She definately moved to get her own way! the kids are upset as they are confused as to what is happening and i had to tell them they wouldn't get back into their old school as she was too much of a coward to tell them! the csa did review after i wrote to the PM, but just sent a letter refusing to alter it until after the year was out and then it would not be backdated, it is at appeals now, but i have been waiting for a date for 7 months now despite my nagging them!

Latemates Sun 10-Jul-11 20:40:11

On csa calculator it work out at about £270 a month so your paying way over the odds.

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 20:41:07

She moved in with her parents, lived rent free, childcare free, worked full time earned the same as me and yet still got working tax credits etc and maintenance! The current court order is a joke as it relates to her being down there! it states things such as skype contact, but her laptop always seems to be broken! i just feel my best option is to ask for it to be changed!

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 20:42:36

the csa calculator works it out over the wage before tax and pension deductions

Latemates Sun 10-Jul-11 20:44:19

I'm sure it is based on net income.

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 20:44:24

i know i am paying over the odds i have been arguing that point all year, but she says no and they listen to her she does not have to provide evidence and any evidence i supply only needs her to say noto, to be disgarded.

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 20:46:09

net income apparently does not included pension payments and i ahve a teacher pension so pay just under 200 a month and the 270 is based on them accepting i have the kids over 104 night a year!

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 10-Jul-11 20:46:30

ok, you say that the csa have reviewed your case and advised you that any money owing to you would be backdated is that right? In which case i don't understand the bit about appealing? Appealing against what.

It sounds to be as though you ex is worried that you are saying that you'll have the children x number of nights a year in order to reduce your payments but that she is worried you won't actually have them that number of nights, thereby depriving her of the funds she should have had. Could it be that that is worrying her?

With regard to childcare on a wednesday night i don't understand why you don't want to pay this? Surely if you can't collect them from school then you have to pay for childcare until you can - I don't think your ex should have to pay this, presumably she pays the other times.

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 20:51:11

no sorry wont be backdated

Truckrelented Sun 10-Jul-11 20:51:41

Male NRP are viewed with suspicion on MN, I'd try Wikivorce if I where you.

Latemates Sun 10-Jul-11 20:54:40

How can he afford child care every Wednesday when he only has a spare £16 a month after expenses and maintenance? There is no way he can pay 4 after school clubs a month with £16.

I think it is discusting that RP can lie and get away with this. The nrp has to provide proof after proof and they still sometimes take the RP word. Even if you get the CSA to change a decision nothing happens to the RP

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 10-Jul-11 20:55:13

were you

not where you

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 20:56:37

I am appealing because I am currently paying too much, as i said the csa said it would not be backdated!

I do not get any reduction for having the children on sunday at all as they do not sleep over but they leave here at 7pm after being fed all day, the only input my ex has is to drive them home and put them to bed, on the friday when they come to me, they are taken straight from school, have not been fed and i supply the evening meal! I am not trying not to pay for my children, but she gets 80% of childcare paid for from child care protion of tax credits and that is for 5 days a week, so why should i pay as i am already payingover the odds!

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 10-Jul-11 20:59:21

ah, if she's getting childcare paid for via tax credits then she should pay on the Wednesday not you. In fact, if she claims for childcare she doesn't use thats fraud? surely.

But you said earlier she lives with her parents and gets free childcare so i'm confused.

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 21:11:05

ok i can see how that is confusing, she moved up recently to live with her boyfriend, her bf apparently doesnt earn much despite being a creative director in a very large landscaping company and because of this she apparently qualifies for the childcare protion of tax credits! she has just secured a job as a year head which means that as she works in a primary school will earn more than me, although i am a department head in an FE College! The Csa have said that when they assess an NRP ( i hate that phrase) that they factor in the day to day care and i only have to pay for the time i physically have the children, which according to the court order is from 6pm on the nights that my contact begins! The court order is very strange and extremely hard to understand especially if you work for the CSA!!

Paul5266 Sun 10-Jul-11 21:12:39

also whilst it may be fraud, i wouldnt report her as i feel that would just be an excuse for her to bad mouth me to the children, who i personally feel should be kept out of any ill feeling between the parents

gillybean2 Sun 10-Jul-11 21:18:25

Truckrelented what a load of rot.

Paul is there any way you can speak to your employer and change things around so you don't need childcare on the wednesday and can collect the dc yourself? That may be the simplist way of avoiding the issue of childcare costs all together.

I'm guessing you are a teacher from your saying you pay into a teacher's pension, so I realise it may not be that easy, but you could ask for a variation to your hours so you can leave a bit earlier on a wednesday. Worth asking.

Otherwise what are your alternatives? Do you have friends or family nearby who could collect them for you until you get there?

What childcare is your ex insisting on suggesting for the wednesday? Is it an after school club? childminder etc? It may well be that she has to pay it whether the dc go that day or not. ie if you can make alternative arrangements it may be that the cost is still there and she may still expect you to pay it.

You could argue that, as there is no variation for the overnights you have the dc, you don't feel the child care is your responsibility as she doesn't recognise that you have the dc. But as you say she may simply stop the contact on a Wednesday - and that has the added bonus (for her) of reducing your overnights and thus making your appeal void. So she does kind of have you over a barrel. At the end of the day I'm sure you'd rather have the overnight and pay the childcare rather than lose the overnight, not pay the childcare but then also loose the variation on maintenance.

Do you have a diary of the contact you have had? If not start one. If you do make sure it is specific. List dates, times, locations collected from and dropped back too (ie collected from school or mum at her house, dropped back to school/mum). Keep everything clear and precise so you can use it if you need too re the CSA.
Can you apply for a variation while the appeal is going ahead? If you can show you've had 52 overnights already then you can ask for a variation on that basis.

What are you hoping to achieve by going back to court? Do you feel you need to get it in writing to help your CSA case? Are you hoping that greater contact will be awarded? Or that the court may see through things and change it so you are the RP? I'm afraid the last option is highly unlikely.

You can represent yourself in court if you can't afford, or don't want to fork out for, a solicitor. Check out Families need fathers for help on that. You can also have a Mckenzie's friend to assist you on court (although they are not allowed to speak, they can offer you support, take notes etc). So court is always an option even if you don't get legal aid or have money for a solicitor.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 10-Jul-11 21:18:39

why can't you claim the childcare portion of tax credits for the night you have the children?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sun 10-Jul-11 21:21:38

So now your saying she doesn't live with her parents she lives with her boyfriend?

I'm even more confused now!

gillybean2 Sun 10-Jul-11 21:22:05

Childcare help via CTC has been reduced to 70% by the way.

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