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Anyone got a magic wand?

(8 Posts)
fionathefrog Fri 08-Jul-11 22:34:54

Hi, I'm hoping someone can come up with something i haven't considered, but i think i know the answer.

My wee one is 14 months, I left his dad when I was still pregnant. I loved his dad, really loved him, I supported him financially and emotionally despite the fact i got little in return, i loved him. When I fell pregnant, he suggested I get 'it' adopted.

I promised myself that it was just me and my baby from then on.

The i reconnected with an olod friend. Great fireworks, everything was great.

Purely my accident I've discovered he's been lying to me, big style. He doesn't work where he said he works, he has a curious medical history. I went steaming in all guns blazing but he denied it all.

Is there any point? can a liar be trusted again? or is it me and my wee boy like i originally decied?

fionathefrog Fri 08-Jul-11 22:35:49

wow, just seen the spelling, sorry, hope you can all translate

Bandwithering Fri 08-Jul-11 22:40:00

Strange lies. DOes he claim he has an illness but he doesn't? or vice versa?
I wonder why he'd lie about where he works? is he in a relationship (that his colleagues know about) I wonder?

is it possible your source is wrong? OR is the source right, and worse, your new bf will deny deny deny even when he is 'busted'?! Taht is NOT a good sign.

It doesn't look like the foundation to base a happy relationship on.

fionathefrog Fri 08-Jul-11 22:47:28

I know about 1 illness but theres medication for way more. I'll be honest, once i got the hint that something wasn't right i ransacked his flat and am certain about it all.

he's denying everything big but crumbling on the little stuff, i get the feeling is a question of not backing down. I could scream I am so mad. I'm not high maintainance, he could have told me!

VioletV Fri 08-Jul-11 22:54:18

Fiona, would it be an idea to post this in relationships? Some of the advice there is fantastic and has really opened my eyes.

I'd be wary why hes lied to you from scratch. Doesn't make any sense.

Bandwithering Fri 08-Jul-11 23:03:54

what kind of medications? is it definitely an illness, or possibly a dependency on prescription type medications??

I just can't understand why he'd lie about needing medication if you 'knew' about [one of] his illness(es)

I agree with pp, the posters on relationships will get to the bottom of it.

sunshineandbooks Sat 09-Jul-11 00:22:25

I'm so so sorry that you have to go through this, but if you're positive he's lying then there is no future in this relationship.

This is a new relationship. If deceit is going on at this level now, it doesn't bode well for the future. Throw in medical issues, which are difficult enough to negotiate when couples have been together for decades, and you're setting yourself up for a whole load of obstacles before you've even created the good-time bond to carry you through.

You have a 14-month old and you're on your own. You cannot afford to cream off your energy on this man. You and your DD deserve better. I'm not saying your friend doesn't BTW, but you are not in a position to be that person.

I'm sorry. I know it will hurt. sad

mrscolour Sun 10-Jul-11 11:23:32

My opinion would be that if a relationship gets to the point where you trust someone so little that you feel you need to ransack their flat then it is over.

My uni boyfriend was deceitful. I remember ransacking his room for evidence of his lies. For some reason I went along with his explanations. Two years later we split up due to yet more lies being told (and I'm sure there were more I never found out about) - that's 2 years of my life wasted!

Put you and your dd first and move on!

Sorry you find yourself in this situation. x

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