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Is it too soon for kids to meet new girlfriend

(10 Posts)
divorcedrama37 Tue 05-Jul-11 12:21:30

Could really do with some thoughts on this from anyone in the same boat. My husband and I have been separated for 2 years however since Christmas have been spending a lot of time together and were talking about reconciling rather than divorce. However, in the last three weeks he has met someone and os already referring to her as his girlfriend. He has our two sons one night a week and my kids told me she had stayed over on that night which I am really shocked about. Firstly, we never talked about actually seeing other people which I am trying to deal with the best way I can, that it is over and I have proceeded with divorce as a result, but secondly, we always said if we met new people we would wait to see if serious before the kids introduced. I think its selfish as only known her two mins? And he has them one night a week, is it too much to ask for a little focus on them rather than her on that night? My eldest is 11 and he says doesnt want to stay there while she is there, he is accusing me of using kids to hurt him!! Aaarrgghh!! Any thoughts guys?

elastamum Tue 05-Jul-11 12:33:49

I think it is a bit sharpish as he doesnt know if new GF will be a long term item. That said, my kids met my BF about 8 weeks after we got together when my ex bought them home early unannounced when he was here!! They then met him a few more times and I was confident they really liked him before he stayed.

Unfortunately, there isnt much you can do about this as it is up to him what he does when he has the children. If you are divorcing you just have to accpet that you will lead seperate lives and you cant meddle in each others affairs

divorcedrama37 Tue 05-Jul-11 12:41:19

Yeah I get that, but eldest was really upset at us not getting back together and tho0ught 3 weeks in was a bit much for them to process? After all its one night a week he has them, plenty of time to see her when they arent around. But totally get what you are saying, hard though eh?

brightwell Tue 05-Jul-11 13:51:09

My ex introduced our dc to his girlfriend before we seperated

divorcedrama37 Tue 05-Jul-11 14:53:12

Oh god brightwell thats terrible!!

gillybean2 Tue 05-Jul-11 17:19:02

Are you sure he's only know her for 3 weeks...? He may just be telling you that...

clam Tue 05-Jul-11 17:34:22

I think it's to soon. They're clearly unimpressed which should be your only motivation (come on here to rant about your feelings about it!)
Make it very clear to your ex that this is coming from the kids, not you.

overthehillmum Tue 05-Jul-11 17:46:32

How old are your kids? my exh did the same thing with my kids, they met her when she turned up at the door and then stayed the night, things went downhill from there..!!! Have to agree with you, he is being a selfish twat, if he only has them one night a week then it wouldn't kill them to keep it separate for a while, my dear ex had my kids one night a fortnight and didn't think he was being unfair.

overthehillmum Tue 05-Jul-11 17:47:38

sorry just noticed your eldest is 11.....still think your ex is a major idiot!!

divorcedrama37 Thu 07-Jul-11 12:48:59

overthehillium - he spoke with my eldest last night who told him he hadnt wanted to upset him but yes he did feel uncomfortable that she was there as he doesnt get much time with him. The youngest is 5 and less likely to take much notice, and gillybean, I do think its only been three weeks but hey could be wrong, even so it is still very early days. . . .

tried to make him see sense that this is affecting them, but as ever he is thinking with his dick!

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