background - he hasn't seen ds for 5 years (ds is now 6) it was his choice, he decided he didn't want anything to do with ds ever again. ds was just turned 1 so has no memory of his dad.
ds has asked questions in the past so ive tried to answer them as best and basic as i can so he understands. Ive told ds he does have a dad but he doesn't see him because his dad isn't a nice person and he decided when he was a baby that he didn't want a child anymore and that he only needs a mummy anyway.
ex has walked past us in the street numerous times over the last 5 years completely ignoring us and ds has obviously never recognised him. ex now has another son from another relationship who he does see (this son is 3). ex now has another one on the way with ANOTHER girlfriend.
so, ds stayed with his great aunt last night who he stays with one night most weekends and they have a fantastic relationship. she's like his nan. She took ds to the park this morning. ds was waiting at the bottom of a ladder for some girls at the top to move and a little boy came over to ds and was also waiting to go up the ladder. the little boy was ex's 3 year old son who ds doesn't know because ive never told him he has a brother.
this little boy called over to his dad (ex) 'there's another boy waiting' (or something like that), and ex shouted back ' thats your brother (then said ds's name).
ds totally confused doesn't know who this man is or who the child is. ds's aunt was fuming but didn't say anything as ds was there. they quickly left
Im so so so so angry. He has no NO fucking right to even say ds's name let alone say life changing things like that to him. How fucking dare he. if i knew where he lived i would go round there and ask him what the hell he wsa playing at
i don't know what to do. ds told me when he got in that a little boy said he was his brother and i said we'll have a chat about it, but i haven't yet. i don't know what to do or say. i know this is likely to happen more now especially as this other boy now knows what ds looks like, and now ex has done it once he's prob going to do it again. But how do i explain to ds who's only 6 that his dad didn't want him but has other children that he does see, and these are his siblings who he also can't see?
i was planning on waiting until he was a little bit older when he was at an age better to understand without making him feel rejected by the prick that is his 'dad'.
do you think i should sit him down and tell him everything? i just feel like it will be opening a can of worms that ds isn't old enough to understand properly yet.
i hate him for what he's done today and for everything else he's done to ds by disowning him, and all the pain he's gunna cause him when ds is older and finds out more about him. i hope this has made his fathers day. obviously had no thought for ds as he KNOWS ds doesn't know anything about his half brother so he's done this purely to be a fuck and to mess with ds's head. Or maybe he thought ds would be old enough to think 'you must be my dad then' and run into his arms. fucking bastard i hate him
i don't know what to do for the best for ds. Its always gunna be there, i just don't want to tell him things that he's not gunna fully understand cos he will then ask more questions about more things and it will be too much
Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.
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ex has just proved how fucking low he is - and on fathers day of all days...
juicychops · 19/06/2011 10:43
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