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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Fuckksake but it stuck in my throat yesterday

28 replies

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 19/06/2011 08:54

To pay for the ex's card and Fathers Day present.

Not that they were expensive, but it just stuck in my craw to buy them.

Kids wanted to get him something, it was the "right" thing to do, but it got up my nose

Anyone else feel the same?

OP posts:

Report

callow · 19/06/2011 09:08

I feel the same.

My daughter, 11, made a card at school but I haven't sent it. She didn't want to make it, she explained to the teacher that she rarely sees her Dad but she was made to make it and give it to a "father-figure" (which she doesn't have either as all other family live overseas).

The card says "To a wonderful Dad" and I can't send it (and she hasn't asked) as I don't want him to have the message that it is all-right to ignore his children and for him to think they are OK with it. They are not OK, my daughter has been in tears the last few weeks thinking about her father's abandonment. I have in the last few weeks left several messages on his phone (as he will not answer my calls) telling him to call her as she is so upset.

I will be calling his brother next week to see if there is a problem.

BluddyMoFo · 19/06/2011 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

princessfifi9 · 19/06/2011 09:24

I don't buy my DD's dad a card or present - there is no way I am spending any money on him!
If she wants to make him a card then I would assist her and I would get her to take it with her when she next sees him.

This year she has not mentioned it (she is 5) and no card was made at school so we are not bothering.

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 19/06/2011 09:26

The kids are 12 and 9 and they wanted to get him something - they don't have money of their own obviously.

Was a cheapy card and a £1 mug from Tescos but it just stuck in my throat to pay for it. And the "I love my Dad" on the mug made my blood boil.

OP posts:

blackeyedsusan · 19/06/2011 10:31

pink rosie... not surprised shame you can't doctor it a bit...

i love my dad because he so reliable he's late every time

I also refused to buy the worlds best dad stuff...

evolucy7 · 19/06/2011 10:46

I bought my Dad a card that has a King playing card on the front and inside says 'King of all Dads' (it sounds a bit crap but there was something different that I liked about it) and a big toblerone that says 'No1 Dad' or something.

My DDs, 4 and 5, made cards for their Dad with a few stickers on them!

They wanted to write in the card for 'Grandad' that I bought, they wanted to know if I was making one for him so had to say I bought one. I have hidden the toblerone so that they don't say they want to give their Dad one!

ninah · 19/06/2011 10:56

If you choose to celebrate Clintons Cards' Fathers' Day surely you are not doing this for your ex's but for your dc. If you're going to do it resentfully it would be better not to bother, surely, until your dc are old enough to make their own cards - or not.

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 19/06/2011 11:03

I didn't show the kids I was resentful, the only reason for doing it was because they wanted to.

OP posts:

ninah · 19/06/2011 11:08

yy, i know ... is pita really. my ex is wearing a big badge saying fab dad or summat

lou33 · 19/06/2011 11:18

My kids decided they would get their father a card, but insisted it only said happy fathers day and nothing about him being wonderful, as they know he isnt. This year and last year they have also bought one for my bf,they say he is more of a dad to them.

Think they have only seen their father a couple of times this year, and had about 3 calls from him. He lives 6 miles away.

fearnelinen · 19/06/2011 11:24

Same. I've just pointed out to DS in Tesco that he has another Dad, bought the card that I picked up and then told him to write it and I shall have to drive it round (because he hasn't turned up for contact today, having too much fun with his 'real' DCs).

FFS, does anyone else give a shit? I've just decided I'm not driving it round unless DS asks specifically.

macdoodle · 19/06/2011 11:44

Same here!! Initially said know, but poor DD1 looked so sad that I caved in, but the £3 on 2 cards really stuck in my throat.

mrscolour · 19/06/2011 13:31

Got card but didn't get dd to correct any of her spelling mistakes. It says to "babby" which is almost baby which is quite appropriate really!

saman43 · 19/06/2011 14:56

lol mrscolour, what revenge leaving spelling mistakes, pure evil! fuckmepinkandcallmerosie and others, we all know we have done the right thing. It just shows how superior we are, and how we always put our kids first. I had just finished buying a huge Best Dad balloon, and was trying to squeeze it in the car, when I received a nasty phone call from ex! Oh well, whatever, fuck him, at least I know on mothers day, my kids will make it special for me without any adult help.

PinkCarBlueCar · 19/06/2011 20:45

Officially, I really enjoyed Father's Day, even if it is made up / Hallmark Day (apart from my rant thread earlier). I even got a lie in because DD played by herself till 9 am - unheard of.

Unofficially, mrscolour - that's hilarious

Bandwitch · 19/06/2011 20:50

I didn't bother. My has not contributed one cent in four years so why would I do that for him. My son brought home a card from school with his footprint on it and a poem about 'daddy'. He insisted on giving it to my Dad. (he knows my dad is his granddad. He's not confused). But it's kind of telling that he didn't ask to post it to his father or anything like that.

Bandwitch · 19/06/2011 20:50

ps, does your x send cards to you on mother's day from the children????

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 19/06/2011 21:03

Kids brought home cards from school for mothers day, and kids asked me for money and snuck off to buy something themselves.

And DS sent a card from Uni.

OP posts:

PinkCarBlueCar · 19/06/2011 21:14

Bandwitch - I'll whisper this - I'm a man . That's why I enjoyed "my" day, especially as I'm RP / PWC.

Bandwitch · 19/06/2011 23:17

My question was to the op. What does RP/PWC mean?

fearnelinen · 19/06/2011 23:21

Resident parent / parent with care.

Bet you get a right bashing on these boards pink car - and then a few es no doubt!

PelvicFloor0fSteel · 19/06/2011 23:25

I would have thought 12 and 9 YO would have some pocket money? Have things changed since my day?

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Bandwitch · 19/06/2011 23:25

I wasn't bashing men, or male posters. I was "bashing" crap fathers. So if you're not in that category then you're not being bashed.

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 20/06/2011 08:11

Pelvic - they do have pocketmoney, but since I'm the only parent who gives them pocket money then it's my money anyway iyswim? Plus, they'd spent it all last weekend when I had them.

OP posts:

mummytime · 20/06/2011 09:38

For those of you whose kids had to make a card at school, I would suggest you talk to the school (and if the class teacher is not receptive to the head) as this is not very sensitive. My DCs school doesn't do fathers day cards, but then I wonder if things changed when the children of a rather famous lesbian went through the school.

In this day and age they should be more sensitive. (Actually back in the dark ages I don't remember this being an issue when I was at school.)

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