H left 2 1/2 yrs ago (he left for OW). We have 3dc and the youngest was born at the same time that we split up. Since then he's had sporadic contact with the eldest 2 but won't have anything to do with the youngest . We're currently going through mediation as part of the divorce process and had our first meeting yesterday.
The mediator told him if we went to court over contact no judge would agree with excluding one child and proceeded to twist his arm to agree to trying to build a relationship with dc3. H was honest (for once!) and said he really didn't want to have anything to do with dc3 - that he feels nothing for him and it would cause enormous problems with his current relationship if he were to have contact with dc3 . My head was reeling from all this and somehow we ended up agreeing that he'll come and see the eldest 2 this weekend and then, at his convenience, he'll come and take dc3 out ALONE for an hour.
DC1&2 really don't want anything to do with their father. He insists he can't be away from his new family (ow, 1 step-child and one bio child born months after dc3) for long enough for dc to see him alone. He tries to push our dc into his new family and my dc don't like it (mainly due to problems with step-child/brother?) They have asked him repeatedly for time alone but h refuses.
So, I now have (stbx)H coming this weekend and it's extremely likely DC will refuse to go with him. I also really regret agreeing to him taking dc3 away alone as dc3 doesn't know his father and H has admitted he doesn't want to get to know dc3.
I feel torn, I always wanted all my dc to have a relationship with their father but he is extremely selfish and a bully. DC don't enjoy their time with him and he doesn't want dc3 so how can this work? I'm feeling like it's in the dc best interest's to not be forced into this hostile environment where their not really wanted but feel guilty and sad because that means no father which we're always being told is not in dc best interests!? Can anyone help or advise please?
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Should fathers and children be forced to have a relationship?
12 replies
buickmackane · 17/06/2011 10:40
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