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ExP's belongings malingering in my loft and garage

(6 Posts)
TheNextMrsBuble Thu 16-Jun-11 11:28:53

Have posted this in Legal as well, but thought here would be another good source of advice.

Some background. I threw ExP out of my house a year ago when DS was 2 mo, for various reasons including his vile temper, excessive drinking and kicking of my dog. He has seen DS once since February this year.

I have repeatedly asked him to come and collect all his stuff that is malingering in my loft and garage. I've said that I'm getting fed up of asking him to collect it after a year and that I'll take it to the tip if he doesn't by the end of June. His charming text reply was "Touch my stuff and i'll destroy you and everything you have". Still he won't commit to a date and time to clear it. He knows I work full-time and cannot be there in the daytime to supervise him clearing it - I changed the locks and am certainly not letting him in when I am not there.

He's in the Armed Forces and doesn't have his own house and lives in the Sgts Mess so I am unable to deliver it to his doorstep myself.

Does anyone know where I stand legally on getting rid of his stuff? It's been a year and I'm sick of asking him and the agro. Or what would you do/have done in a similar situation?

TIA

sunshineandbooks Thu 16-Jun-11 12:00:56

Sounds horrible. Poor you.

Do you still have the text he sent you? It is a completely unambiguous threat that could be used very effectively against him, not just in terms of your own protection but also as a counterstrike.

I think in your position I would set a deadline and present it in polite, reasonable tones and in a way that left no option but for him to reply in writing (so send him a recorded, witnessed letter or text). Say if the deadline is missed you will have it delivered to the Sergeants Mess. It's not your problem that he has nowhere to store it - 12 months is more than reasonable for him to have found somewhere.

If he replies with another threat, you have him bang to rights. Or he may just surprise you and collect his stuff meekly. Sometimes bullies do that. It's important you make a stand though, as if you let him 'win' over this, he will see it as carte blanche to continue trying to control you in other ways.

If he gets arsey, get yourself down to the police station and talk to the domestic violence team. They will talk you through what you need to do to protect yourself.

Good luck. smile

TheNextMrsBuble Thu 16-Jun-11 14:03:25

Thanks sunshine. Have had some legal advice from that board, quite close to your advice about writing to him and giving him notice to collect his belongings.

His threats, of which I have text and email evidence of a few, are probably idle tosh but I do keep them just in case I need them in the future. Thankfully he lives 20 miles away and is a bone-idle twunt so doubtful he will do anything.

balia Thu 16-Jun-11 18:12:48

DON'T DO THIS

But wouldn't it be fun to text him thus;

Thnx for sorting your stuff out - your m8 John says you owe him a beer for collecting it for you.

gingerrapunzel Thu 16-Jun-11 20:12:18

again I dont suggest you do this given the threats but ....i had a pretty vile exp who left a lot of stuff at mine and same situation. it sounds petty but i ebayed a few bits of his as was so fed up of him. it gave me a few moments light relief thinking about someone else wondering around in his raybans and kids got a new trainset in the process....

VioletV Thu 16-Jun-11 21:07:13

Call up his Army unit and talk to his Sargent/Captain whoever. This should help and I'm pretty certain he'll have it quickly sorted....

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