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Kids behaviour and my self esteem!

(5 Posts)
Montessorisam Thu 16-Jun-11 09:25:31

Hi there,
just looking for some more advice please! Had one of those mornings with my kids aged 2,6,9. Husband left 3 months ago. My 6 year old boy is behaving badly at the moment - he is usually fairly laid back. He is hitting his sister, refusing to do what I ask (like hand washing, teeth brushiing ,bath..) and generally winding everybody up. At night he is struggling to sleep until I go in and soothe him to sleep (relaxation techniques) around 9.30pm. So I am guessing he is tired too.
This morning it all kicked off. He wound up his sister, she then refused to wear any of the 3 jackets presented to her because then she starts shouting at me. I got cross and shouted at them all!!
When we got to school I decided to confiscate my sons scooter (which he loves with all his heart!) until he behaves better. I have had 2 years of exh telling me that I am a stress head, that I do not deal with the kids well, that I shout at them too much. During those 2 years of telling me these things he used to be laying in bed whilst I was up 6am dealing with them all until school drop off! He never used to help at all!! I have a lot on my plate and as we know bringing up 3 kids is hard work! His lack of understanding in situations like this was a contribution towards our marriage break up. I also understand that I have to be understanding about my kids feelings in this situation because I know that they will be grieving for their dad. 6 year old behaviour is probably an example of this.
How would you all handle these type of situations? Did I do the right thing in confiscating the scooter? My self-confidence in handling the kids and situations like these are not so great. Advice please? Much appreciatedXX

cestlavielife Thu 16-Jun-11 10:20:44

rewards/pubnishments need to be very specific - not jsut "til you behave better" - that is too broad a concept for a 6 year old.

ask HV/GP for referral to counselling for you and/or parenting course just to talk thru some of the issues and also to probably find out you doing the right things.

cestlavielife Thu 16-Jun-11 10:21:32

eg my local GP practice offers a cousnelling course for seaprated parents - ask - it can be really useful either one on one or in a group .
it is early days and you need help to get thru it

SaggyHairyArse Thu 16-Jun-11 14:25:44

You are right to confiscate something that will hit him where it hurts but doing it when you got to school and not at the time and without a clear definition of what is expected or a time frame won't probably help in the long run.

More specifically you might want to try "if you continue to do X, Y, Z I will confiscate your scooter until A (timeframe) or B (behaviour has changed".

It is hard! I have three kids too, my youngest is 4 and a nightmare at times. I do sometimes put him in his room just so I don't have to listen to his incessant tantrumming as I fear I might throttle him. Roll on September when he starts school!

SaggyHairyArse Thu 16-Jun-11 21:03:37

You are right to confiscate something that will hit him where it hurts but doing it when you got to school and not at the time and without a clear definition of what is expected or a time frame won't probably help in the long run.

More specifically you might want to try "if you continue to do X, Y, Z I will confiscate your scooter until A (timeframe) or B (behaviour has changed".

It is hard! I have three kids too, my youngest is 4 and a nightmare at times. I do sometimes put him in his room just so I don't have to listen to his incessant tantrumming as I fear I might throttle him. Roll on September when he starts school!

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