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Its sooo f**king hard doing it all alone... I'm fed up of it....

(21 Posts)
extraconfusedhelp Mon 13-Jun-11 21:52:24

Its just me and dd, she is hard work I'm stressy, its not a good combination.

Her dad thinks hes a great dad but does the bare minum.

So its all left to me. I am fed up of doing everything myself and would love someone to give me a break or appreciate what I actually do.

I know all lone parents must feel like this sometimes, so I'm sure nothing Im saying has not been said before, but I'm just fed up.

Every night dd cries and its a fight to get her to bed. Every morning she moans as she is tried from going to bed too late. I dont want these same old boring battles everynight.

I'm not sure why I'm feeling so down at the moment. A few months ago I was feeling so happy to be alone with dd, and now Im starting to get tired of the never ending battle sad

sorry for the moaning....

WelshCat Mon 13-Jun-11 22:16:16

ah nobody has replied! mean.. !

i guess i dont have any help other than to tell you i know how you feel smile sure its just a stress patch and in a few weeks you'll be back to your chipper old self again.

if you get bummed out just remember you get all the fun parts too, its not all sucky being a single parent, what always cheers me up is if i think of how truly sucky it would be if i was still with EXP trying to cope.

the thing with babies also is everything feels like its lasting forever, even when sometimes its just been a few weeks.

chin up anyway lovely, its all good, and there's plenty of us who wish we could just go away for the weekend somewhere alone! (and no doubt feel guilty for thinking it afterwards!)

Jellykat Mon 13-Jun-11 22:22:24

Moan away OP smile

I've been doing the lone parents thing for a very long time, DS2s school is doin' our heads in, he's an angry 13 yr old tonight and i'm not surprised.. My mothers' advice - take him out and home ed. him (while running a business), then DS1 rings to tell me his next flat's fallen through, and he'll be homeless in 3 weeks.. blah blah blah.

Yep, it's a pile of knackering pants!! and a big hug wouldn't go amiss..

We all agree with you, but i tell you what.. i'm sooo glad i don't have a twatish DP to deal with too huh? grin

DD will stop giving you a hard time at bedtime one day, until then you must do something nice for yourself tomorrow and the day after...!

(Would've replied sooner, but DS2 needed sorting)

extraconfusedhelp Mon 13-Jun-11 22:22:41

thank you for the reply, you made me laugh by saying we would feel quilty for even thinking of going away as I always feel guilty for everything.

God its soooo hard sometimes.

lemonandhoney Mon 13-Jun-11 22:31:42

It is lonely and tough and soul destroying sometimes. I find it hard not having someone to share the little highs and lows of child rearing with, and get very short tempered when the dcs act up. Plus the sheer tedium of always being responsible for nail cutting, putting out the bins, paying the bills, buying the birthday presents.

I too am having a tough time, so think you're
more than entitled to a moan. Moan away, and then have some wine.

WKMum Mon 13-Jun-11 22:54:21

I totally sypathise ExtraConfusedStressy - it's a heap of cr*p at times being an LP, and so exhausting and, at the end of the day, you just don't get any thanks for all the bloody hard work.

I really wish I had some great advice for you, but I just join the others in saying a glass of wine is the best tonic!

Hang on in there...

Tortoise Mon 13-Jun-11 22:58:50

Another LP here who knows how you are feeling. I have 4 DC and i am at the end of my tether with everything at the moment!
I had to scrape together £5 in 5p today just to be able to buy bread and milk sad. I was nearly in tears this morning wondering how i was going to find money for bread. Glad i saved up some 5p now!

Glad to be away from XP though! Life would have been much, much worse with him!

Tyr Mon 13-Jun-11 23:02:55

extraconfusedhelp Mon 13-Jun-11 21:52:24

"Its just me and dd, she is hard work I'm stressy, its not a good combination.

Her dad thinks hes a great dad but does the bare minum."

Why not give him the opportunity to step up to the mark and give you a break?
What age is your daughter?

DollyTwat Mon 13-Jun-11 23:04:40

You moan away, we all feel like that sometimes
It's a hard battle to rise above it too. I battle against the resentment I feel for my ex who doesn't work, but still feels he has the right to criticise me.

The thing to remember is you are the best mum you can be, you are the only mum your dd has, life isn't always perfect and that this phase won't last forever.

Get a babysitter and go out, or invite your friends round to yours, the social contact will make you feel much better.

And yes, remember how awful life was before, it's easier on your own even when it's hard, at least you don't have to argue with someone else about your parenting choices (even if you regret them later).

We're all in the same boat, and we're doing our best. Sometimes that's all you can expect from yourself.

Grockle Mon 13-Jun-11 23:09:19

It feels shit sometimes, doesn't it? I'm knackered to the point of tears so often - I'm crap at my job and because I'm tired from working, I'm crap at being a mum too. That said, I've just split up with DP and, in the 12 months or so that we were together, it wasn't any easier. At least now I only have DS to worry about. Life is tough

WelshCat Mon 13-Jun-11 23:11:21

it is horrible when you spend 10 minutes dreaming of a night off, or a weekend, then DC starts crying and you think nooo, ill never leave you! hehe, i have only been out 3 times since DS was born, i always think its mean to leave him. not that he cares.. its just me being stupid!

extraconfusedhelp Tue 14-Jun-11 21:19:54

thank you all for the replies, it helps to know i'm not aloe...

Tyr - I do try to dad be a dad but he does the bare minum even with me trying to make him do more.

Also he said he would pay for dd to have a party, the time is coming close now so mentioned this to him and also said for her birthday can he buy her a cupboard as the other one is falling apart, then he started saying he cant afford all that shock.

So i have already told dd she would be having a party and she keeps talking about it, but exp said that hes not paying for all of that. What a crappy guy he is....

Tyr Tue 14-Jun-11 21:38:58

Sorry to hear that. Unless he's on JSA, a cupboard wouldn't break the purse.
Anyway, I was thinking more of him looking after her more to give you a breather.
If he's no good in that respect, are there GP's that could give you a break?
What age is your little girl?

Meglet Tue 14-Jun-11 21:46:50

I could moan for England about being a LP grin.

I cried the other weekend (and I never cry) as I knew even leaving the house to go to the corner shop would be an epic 30 min trudge with tantrums from my pre-schoolers.

Grockle Wed 15-Jun-11 21:09:11

Oh dear, Meg sad

I'm so tired. I need a hug - I just want someone to walk through the door, make me a cup of tea and squeeze me.

Tortoise Wed 15-Jun-11 22:32:31

Crackle you have made me cry. That is exactly how I feel tonight. Feel so alone sad just seeing the words there hit it home to me.
(((( hugs )))) for anyone who needs one.

Tortoise Wed 15-Jun-11 22:36:43

*crockle, sorry I blame auto correct!

Tortoise Wed 15-Jun-11 22:37:28

Grockle* Oh bollocks to it lol!

Grockle Thu 16-Jun-11 18:37:26

Oh Tortoise, sorry!

I am very tearful atm, for various reasons but I feel ever so lonely much of the time. I moved here 2 years ago and have no close friends, no-one who pops in for a chat etc.

It was lovely when I met DP 18 months ago and he got on so well with DS that it all seemed good. But then it went wrong and we've gone our separate ways and I really miss the companionship - someone wanting to know about my day, someone who might make me a cup of tea every now and then. I actually quite like being single - in many respects it's easier, but I really miss having another grown up around and there's nothing quite like big-man hugs...

Tortoise Thu 16-Jun-11 22:08:08

That's ok Grockle. smile It's hard isn't it? I feel the same as you. But i have been single nearly 6 yrs and no luck with finding anyone so far. I do miss being with someone but, like you, i like some parts of being single!

girliefriend Fri 17-Jun-11 20:48:32

It is f***ing hard, I think we all deserve a medal!!

My dd was driving me mad tonight, she threw a paddy in the bath, then jumped out and ran around shouting 'you can't make me get back in'

ffs

but then at bedtime she was quite sweet again so all forgiven!!!

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