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Contact orders

(6 Posts)
mrsmcv Mon 13-Jun-11 17:43:45

My ex husband was violent in our marriage and I left him when dd was 4 months old. Never opposed contact, always stuck to contact orders despite immense pressure from him, winding me up week after week after week. Five years on, he's still at it, still launching pointless court battles which are invariably thrown out. However, something has changed and I can't put my finger on it. where he was always difficult, a pain in the backside, punishing me for leaving etc, he now seems to have lost the plot.

When I left him, he was terrifying, I was scared for my life and the things he did to me put our daughter in physical danger. I've not felt like this about him in respect of our daughter since then but I can tell that he wants to get his hands on me and that he's lost all reason where she's concerned. I've told my solicitor I daren't send her to see her dad and he says there's nothing to indicate any increased risk but I can tell there is. I have never stopped contact, never tried to but I am really scared for my daughter's safety, I honestly am. I have no evidence except for knowing the signs with him but to be honest, what would the signs be? Don't people only find out when it's too late?

If you were in my shoes, would you still send her?

GypsyMoth Mon 13-Jun-11 17:48:05

I got a forensic psychiatric assessment on my scary ex, he got no contact because of a combination of the asessment, failure to turn up in court and his other bad behaviour

He had once told me he would kill himself and take the dc with him. So taken very seriously once court saw he was attempting suicide almost monthly

Think it through, can you say what it is?

mrsmcv Mon 13-Jun-11 18:25:42

God that sounds awful. He's never done anything like that. He's just really bonkers and getting worse. I've experienced the full range of his stupid petty behaviour but it's almost like I'm watching someone have their last crack at me and giving it all they've got. Would only hurt dd to get at me but would be so focussed on hurting me, would not take any notice of her. He's done this before so I know he's capable. I just want to keep her away from him until court have dealt with it properly. Unless I am actually being driven mad by him, which sometimes seems like a possibility

PinkCarBlueCar Mon 13-Jun-11 20:16:20

Would it be possible to change the contact to a contact centre?

mrsmcv Mon 13-Jun-11 22:57:11

solicitor doesn't think there's enough evidence and ex-h certainly wouldn't agree to it. quite scared by it all really.

PinkCarBlueCar Mon 13-Jun-11 23:17:02

How much time does he have with DD?

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