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splitting up

(2 Posts)
daisychainsaws Sun 12-Jun-11 22:10:56

- have posted this in legal, but hope it's ok to post here too -

It looks like my relationship is at an end.

We have a young baby and I'm worried about what to do now. We live about 2 hours apart (job / family circumstances) so housing is not an issue; I'm renting and he owns a house. Our DD lives with me.

I work and our baby is looked after by a combination of a childminder and my family.

He is a volatile person and I've probably stayed in the relationship as I'm worried about what will happen when we split. He's made threats to me but I think he knows that if he follows through then access will be difficult and he doesn't want to lose her.

He loves his DD, and I don't want to stop him seeing her but I don't trust him to have her overnight - in 7 months not once has he got up with her in the night {largely due to his drinking}.

What should I do now to make this situation the best it can be?

mrscolour Sun 12-Jun-11 22:23:55

First stop for me when me and ex split was the CAB who might start to give you an idea about what happens next.

I would guess (and it is a guess - I'm no legal expert) that at 7 months your dd would be a little young for overnight. My ds has just turned 2 and overnights with dad haven't started for him yet. If the drinking is a major problem you may be worried about his ability to look after a baby overnight.

Could you suggest just daytime contact to begin with - every week if possible as it will need to be quite regular if he is to maintain a relationship with a baby.

Are you going to try and arrange contact between yourselves or will you use mediation or solicitors to help?

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