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"I want to go home"

(6 Posts)
prettywhiteguitar Fri 10-Jun-11 14:34:55

Ds (3.5) went away with his dad for a long weekend, me and my partner had just had a new baby, so I was expecting him to play up a bit but he has been very good and loves his new sister, however Ds is now coming out with "I want to go home to Daddy's" every time he gets told off.

Now this is very unusual in that whilst everything is very amicable now, his dad has moved a lot and now only just has a bedroom for him (last month) so he usually wants to be with us

Anyway, what do you say ?? I started off being sympathetic as I thought it was because he missed him, now I've realised its simply cause he's being told off, do I tell him off for saying it cause its rude, I don't want him saying I want to go home to mummys at his dads either if its just because hes been naughty

or do I ignore it ?? I don't like any rude behaviour (which is kind of what I think this is ) or am I just being mean ?

hairylights Fri 10-Jun-11 14:58:20

Oh it's just a phase. Of course his Daddy's house is also his home, but he's clearly saying this as a response to being told off, which is a child's natural defence mechanism.

Don't engage with it or have a conversation about it, just ignore it.

Snorbs Fri 10-Jun-11 14:59:00

I'd simply say "If you had done that at daddy's house he would have told you off as well."

I'd try really hard not to get into it any more than that, though, as otherwise the conversation turns into one about daddy's house versus your house and that gets the attention off of whatever it was DS did in the first place. Kids are sneaky little buggers for playing that kind of game grin

prettywhiteguitar Fri 10-Jun-11 15:07:46

thanks ! its so hard to not take it personally cause I know he gets away with a lot more at his dads

ignore, ignore, ignore !

It was quite funny this morning cause hes started moving about with his potty attached to his bum whilst doing a poo, so I was telling him to stay in one place and I got "i want to go hoooome to daddy's" why he wants to shuffle about with a poo in his potty I don't know....

Gemmakaye Tue 14-Jun-11 20:33:02

i have the revesre of the my little girl goes to her dads every other weekend and when i speak to her she asks me to come and pick her up i have to explain that i cant do that due to it been a contact order.

i wouldnt take it personal what his saying i know it must be hard i would be upset. its properly just he doesnt have boundaries at his dads

Gster Thu 16-Jun-11 13:14:25

I have my dd 2.5 years to stay every other w/e and some more here and there.

I paid close attention to how dd took to coming to stay with me as I didn't want her to be upset at all being away from her mum.

I noticed very early on that if I told dd she couldn't have something ( e.g. ice cream on demand, or yet another episode of Shaun the Sheep etc ) she would use the ' want home to mummies, and 'daddies house bad ' lines almost without fail. And then when she'd realized I wasn't caving in would happily carry on with whatever we were doing.

She recently told me, whilst happily playing with playdo, that she ' wanted mummies house, not '

It's manipulation. Just ignore it.

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