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Had enough of ex and his ex!

(6 Posts)
manicmummyonadietcokebreak Mon 06-Jun-11 14:55:16

ok, long story! My exp and I broke up on due date of dc3 now 3 mnths, I kicked him out, but he was having an affair and making my life as hard as possible sad any way, I have been letting him stay over every other weekend to spend time with the kids and so the kids feel not much has changed and we have been very civil in front of dc, but he is only paying a 3rd of what he should be paying, and I have had to involve the csa as I'm struggling financially as he left me with debts. But, he has two older kids aged 17 & 18 that he pays more than he should for, and has never missed a payment and I payed the maintenance for when he was out of work for a few mnths, and I never complained, until now, as they have had a very good upbringing and my dd1 has had to go to school in shoes with the sole hanging of while I payed for there 3d tv! He hasnt even brought dc3 a nappy let alone a buggy, my family had to. I'm struggling with pnd and am think of suicide every day and my son has been acting up at night, so I asked him to have. Him at his house for a few days as ds was begging to see him, and I couldn't afford to feed or have exp stay again, he said no, he's not looking after them!
We have ALWAYS had his other kids every other weekend scinse they were 3 &4 (when we got together) except when I had an op and begged him to let me have some time with out them, for which I was called evil and a bitch for not letting him see there siblings! And when they were little when ever his ex said she had had enough, we took them.
Any way It came to a head on Thursday when I posted on a social network site about loving my kids, and exp posted, a comment and I retaliated saying all I want is my kids to be treated the way his other two have always been eg money and them staying with him, like my ds wants.. His ex then added to it (through her sons profile, as we are not friends on there) and it got very nasty, I called he a big mouth and she said that I have never worked a day in my life ( false! I have not worked scinse ds was born (now 3) as I was sacked during my pregnancy) and I have had to do lowly jobs as my exp wouldn't allow me to finish my degree when we move in together.and she acussed me of using him as a sperm doner!? She also mentioned mental health issues I had had, that were just between me and him! And said me and the kids are going to have nothing to do with her kids and I will have to explain to my 3 why they are not allowed anything to do with there brother and sister as it's all my doing sad I have had to delete my profile as I was being attacked ect from his family who have never liked me, I was never good enough for him any way sad
I feel not only abandoned by him but by the dc, who I have treated as my own for the last 12/13 years.I even forgave his son punching my stomach when I was pregnant with dd1. AIBU to want my kids treated the same as his other kids? Feel very alone and can't even chat to friends on fb as I had to delete it sad
I think I was being very nice letting him stay at mine ! Argh!

RCToday Mon 06-Jun-11 15:02:13

I think Jeremy Kyle would be happy sort this out

manicmummyonadietcokebreak Mon 06-Jun-11 15:26:32

Well a kick a girl when she's down! Thanks very much!

PinkCarBlueCar Mon 06-Jun-11 15:26:55

you probably haven't completely deleted your fb profile, so you could more likely than not re-open it and just block anyone on his side who attacks you over this.

No other advice, as it's all a bit complicated for me to make sense of right now, but it does sound quite sad for you.

I hope that with a bit of time things calm down for everyone.

PinkCarBlueCar Mon 06-Jun-11 15:28:15

I mean no offence by the first line - fb profiles are quite hard to erase, especially lately - your profile is usually kinda stored somewhere so if you want to, you should be able to re-activate it.

SaggyHairyArse Mon 06-Jun-11 20:48:10

Firstly, no, I don't think you are asking too much for the kids to be treated the same - however you can't make someone do something or be something they are not prepared to do/be. I would give up banging your head against a brick wall on that one.

Secondly, I would not conduct your private business via a social network site. If you want to have a profile again then just don't interact/invite anyone from that side of your life. Even if they post up untrue or hurtful things, do not retaliate. No one looks good when that sort of thing happens and, personally, when my mates have had hoohahs online those of us not involved think they look like a bunch of dicks and do laugh at them behind their backs :-o

With regards to the maintainance, go through the proper channels like the CSA or a solicitor to get it sorted. Distance yourself from the whole thing, focus on the kids and getting the best end result for them and leave the Jeremy Kylers to do their worst ;-)

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