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Can ex stop me from moving out of area which will impact on access to DS?

(5 Posts)
samantha001 Sat 04-Jun-11 20:22:57

I have a seperation agreement which states access arrangements for my ex. 2 nights per week (wed & fri) all day sat. Due to eldest ds education & my job I need to move at least 100 miles from where I live which will mean that pick up from school & overnight stay on a wednesday would be impossible. Invevitably the access arrangements will have to be amended.

I know that my ex will not be happy about this move & will try to stop me, can he do this?

mrscolour Sat 04-Jun-11 20:54:46

I don't know. Is worth getting some legal advice on this. If there is a very good reason for it then I don't see how he can stop you.

Perhaps when you try and discuss it with him you could put forward some suggestions for what the new contact arrangements could be.

taken4granted Sun 05-Jun-11 09:10:28

I moved to 300 miles away from my ex after we split to get some support from my parents - there was nothing he could do - my solicitor advised as long as we lived in courts jurisdiction (england & wales) ie not scotland I could live where ever i wanted hope this helps - it all depends on how you get on with ex - I know in early days its never easy to sit down and discuss - ( even mediators were no use) but 3 yrs down the line I can talk to ex without getting upset/angry in fact Im well shut and much much happier I think I had a lucky escape in fact!

gillybean2 Sun 05-Jun-11 09:26:41

Is the separation agreement through court or just something you agreed together?
How old is your ds?
If you can show that the move will be of benefit to your ds, and is in his best interests then you should be ok. Not much your ex can do, except follow you or ask for residency to be changed to him (which is unlikely if you're moving within the same country).

You will need to think about how you intend or contact to continue and how you are going to get your ds to/from his dad's...
You say you need to move 'at least 100 miles'. How far are you going? Remember that the journey will be double for your ds and 4 times for you and your ex to get him there and back. Even if you do half the travel each that's 50 miles to drop off, 50 miles home then 50 miles to pick up and 50 miles home. So your ds will be doing 200 miles and you'll be doing 200-400 to get him to contact. Can you afford that amount of travel costs? Can your ds cope with that journey? Is there really no alternative but to move that far?

How will you ensure contact is maintained? WIll you do all the travelling? Half of it? Will your ex be able to stay with you to visit ds to save on travel and hotel costs?
Will you set up skype calls?
Will you be prepared to ghive your ex extra time in the school holidays to make up for the midweek and weekend contact your ds will miss with him?

Lots of questions sorry, but you need to look at the wider impact and ensure this is in the best interests of your ds. That is what a court will look at should it come to it.

samantha001 Sun 05-Jun-11 21:56:57

Many thanks for all your comments & advice so far. Access was originally agreed by solicitors & is in writing but not through courts, ds is 6 & eldest ds (different dad) is 17. My job already means that I have to drive to where I intend to live (Bristol - W. London) at least 3 times a week so my thought process is that I will have more time at home & be less tired due to less travel if I move. My eldest ds has got a place at college near my work so it makes sense for us to all move, this will also save on accommodation costs for eldest ds.

I would want to change access to every other weekend with ex, he can definately afford travel costs & is flexible to leave work whenever he wants to collect, he already has 4 weeks holiday a year (in seperation agreement) but has only ever taken him away for 2 but I would be willing to agree an additional week if he wanted it. Skype is not a problem nor are regular phone calls.

Ex likes to be in control of everything & is difficult in every aspect of arrangements for ds i.e. having insisted on 4 weeks holiday he only takes him for 1 or 2 weeks per year. Having insisted on me taking ds away for 1 week maximum (as he would miss him too much if we went for longer) with at least 28 days notice, then goes on honeymoon for 19 days with one weeks notice. I could go on....

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