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Pouring my frustrations with flathunting into amateur poetry!

(6 Posts)
circlehead Thu 02-Jun-11 23:58:56

Potential Tenant

Housing Benefit – must be scum,
Unemployed, single mum.
Got knocked up to get a flat,
One night stand with some drunk prat.

No thank you, I’d rather not,
Rent my nice flat to that lot,
They’re bound to trash it, burn it down,
Overcrowd it, be too loud,

Smoke inside and sell my stuff,
Probably sell a bit of puff.
They just don’t want to get a job,
Bloody scroungers, on the rob.

If you work, you’re decent, see?
Earn your keep, want nothing free.
As long as you’re not DSS,
I know you won’t drink to excess.

But something has been niggling me,
Since I put my ad up on Gumtree.
I had a reply from a single mum
(housing benefit, no income).

She said she understood the label,
But she was different, she was stable.
She wasn’t working currently,
But once her boy was 2 or 3,

She would get back on her feet.
She’d keep the flat pristine and neat.
They live a quiet life, she said,
Dinner, bathtime, nappy, bed.

They wouldn’t cause me any trouble.
I didn’t want to burst her bubble,
She seemed respectable enough,
She didn’t come across as rough.

The place was perfect, apparently -
Catchment for the primary,
Garden for the boy to roam,
A quiet, safe, relaxing home.

She seemed to be intelligent,
Personable and eloquent.
But think of them I had before –
Stained the carpet, broke the door.

No, I cannot go forgetting,
You must be careful when you’re letting,
Working tenants only please,
DSS won’t get the keys.

ninah Fri 03-Jun-11 00:07:05

nice one, you need an open mike night! seriously, this could be great performed

WelshCat Tue 07-Jun-11 23:37:46

hahaahah that is awesome. bloody landlords.

circlehead Fri 17-Jun-11 19:41:11

Thank you both =) Certainly helped me let off some steam! I am pleased to say I have found a letting agent that is just about willing to ''take a gamble'' on me and my elegibility to housing benefit. But boy was it an uphill struggle!

mellowbird Sun 19-Jun-11 08:26:54

That is brilliant!!!

You have talent....

Pleased to hear you have found somewhere,i was lucky and found a landlord willing to take the risk but it's not easy.

ninah Sun 19-Jun-11 10:33:09

that's good news
keep the rhymes coming though! look at seasick steve grin

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