Short background. Ex and I split when dd was weeks old. She is now almost 4. He has always had regular contact, is a good dad etc and I've worked hard to avoid a business like arrangement between us. DD goes for overnights twice a week. We dont always get on but I never refuse contact/reasonable requests for extra time etc. He is a pushy person, and is married to quite a controlling woman who pushes him on stuff, and he then hassles me over it. Now for example, he is pushing for half of all school holidays. I'm more than happy for dd to go in each half term hols for an extra day or two ( on top of her twice weekly overnights). She also has a 2 week foreign hol with him, so he sees her alot, but I object to half of all hols, on the basis that as a school teacher, i am able to provide her with care, whereas in the holidays, his wife is the one who ends up looking after her. He has just had a baby, so says that this factor is irrelant as she needs to see her sister, I agree with this,but don't feel that dd should be there for 3-4 days when she has a willing parent who is free to care for her.
Secondly, this is not the staus quo - it is something new that he ( she) is pushing for. I am from another country, so usually use the half terms to see my parents, his proposals means that I would see them less, as would my DD who needs this valuable time to see her extended family. He and his wife say that we effectively have 'joint custody', so I need to ask him when I'm taking her away, and on all other issues as well. I undertand that he has PR, but as neither of us have been to court, I'm not sure what they mean by this, but do feel worried. I should make it crystal clear that I am not in any way trying to limit contacvt between dd and her dad - he sees her lots, but they interpret every single action I make as 'obstructive' and I feel I cant win. They have mentioned court action against me.
Please could someone tell me where I stand? ;(
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74 replies
stressedatbest · 23/05/2011 10:08
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