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Advice on introducing boyfriend into the family please

4 replies

MrsS01 · 28/12/2010 19:14

I've been a LP with my 8 year old boy for the last 8 years. I've recently started seeing a bloke who I think it may be long term. We've known each other now for 4 months. He's met my son and I've met his kids and the kids have met each other. All went well.

My boyfriend has stayed over a couple of times and it hasn't been a problem. But what I've noticed is my boy wants me to sit next to him all the time so I think he may be feeling pushed out although he hasn't said anything. I've asked him if he likes my boyfriend and he does.

Has anyone any advice on the best way to introduce my boyfriend more into our family unit. Its been just me and my boy for so long and we are very close so I don't want him to feel pushed out, equally I want him to know that its okay for mum to have a life and boyfriend too.

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BeeandSon · 28/12/2010 19:39

first of all "good on you" I have been LP for 6 yrs now and I can see that my ds crave for a bloke around as much as me (i think) I am sure that ds would be very very jealous at first if a man did enter our life but the value of a mum who is also living her life as a woman and a sexual been is so healthy for any child in the long run.
It is only a matter of time, playing all together, at the end of the day if there is a loving relationship everybody will fall in love with each other
A child will feel what their mother feels in they heart so your son already knows and he is just checking you dp out in his own time.
8 is a good age for it too I think he is old enough to become to separate from you
More experienced people will sure be more helpful I just wanted to wish you well (and so there is hope for me too...maybe the 8th yr is the time...it happened to a friend of mine so finger crossed)

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MrsS01 · 29/12/2010 17:15

thanks BeeandSon.

Anyone else any advice??

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StuffingGoldBrass · 29/12/2010 17:20

Just take things slowly: your DS reaction is quite natural (he wants to reassure himself that he is your priority) and will pass.

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beingsetup · 29/12/2010 19:28

I would do things that were active, where your boyfriend could join in and have fun, so that your son associates that person with good times.

Maybe blokey things as well, eg. playing footie, playing with cars to encourage some male bonding?

I'm glad you've found someone and all the best Grin

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