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Sick and alone with DCs at Xmas

(25 Posts)
Solo2 Sat 25-Dec-10 13:34:53

Used to being alone with DCs for Xmas but now DC2 is sick, I'm getting sick too and DC1 desperately wants a normal Xmas Day. DC2 has been crying because he feels he's ruined Xmas for us all and I feel like going to bed and sleeping as I feel so sick but need to look after DC2 (in bed, vomiting/ diarrhoea etc) and DC1 (wants help putting together presents, wants a meal etc).

Last Xmas was our first as a family of three without anyone being sick and it was the best ever. We'd all hoped for another like this - not asking much - but now v ill.sad

DC1 is definitely going to get this bug as he always does.

Being sick on Xmas Day as a solo parent kind of changes the feel to it. I'm used to coping and even to enjoying just us three together but DC2 especially builds things up hugely towards Xmas trying to make it really perfect and it's heartbreaking that we're sort of having to cancel it today.

DC1 has eaten a pre-cooked meal for one alone and I feel pretty wretched for him, his twin and all three of us.

I know I'll be up all night tending to DC2 and not get any sleep for a few nights and days now and I alwaysm always find it so hard, knowing that this will be the case and yet not being able to do anything about it.

Can anyone think of anything positive and helpful to say, as it's times like this that I feel lonely and unable to cope, as opposed to most of the rest of the time when I'm able to enjoy the autonomy of being in sole charge of my own life and my DCs?

BelleDeChocChipCookieMonster Sat 25-Dec-10 13:38:54

You can have another Christmas day when you are all feeling better.

You're doing your best and these things do happen. Antihistamines may help with the nausea, they do sometimes. It's just a day, I know it's Christmas day but it's still just a day.

I really do hope that you all recover very soon. Is there no family around to help out?

Theyremybiscuits Sat 25-Dec-10 13:43:28

It's always a nightmare when they're sick and you are too.

You are doing your best, and that is fantastic.

I am a LP too with two Dcs and their dad is having them 2 hours today (was not in when we were going to drop off today - so less than 2 hrs hey ho)

My youngest has been very ill for the last 2 wks and he knew and did not call once.

You are feeling extra low about everything when you are ill too.

Sending you love and hugs and just wanted you to know you are not alone xxx

trianglesquare Sat 25-Dec-10 13:55:57

Sorry to hear about the D and V bug Solo2. How crap for xmas day. My dc and I had it a few days ago and we lived on rice cakes and rice cooked in stock and it passed off quite quickly and definitely within 48 hours. Drinks loads of water too. I really feel for you. Can you let the dc watch their favourite tv shows/DVDs and spend the day under the duvets with them? I hope you are all better soon.

longdarktunnel Sat 25-Dec-10 14:00:08

I'm so sorry. You sound totally amazing and very much in control-something about your message made me admire you very much. Lower your own expectations, put your pjs on and put the TV on. You can redo Christmas another time, just concentrate on making sure you're all ok.

gillybean2 Sat 25-Dec-10 14:17:32

Explain to DC1 that xmas is on hold but he can watch whatever films, dvds etc he likes and can eat chocolate or crisps or whatever he wants too.

And say that when you are all better you will do christmas again (not the santa thing as assume he has been) but a special day with a nice roast dinner, crackers, games and what not.

But don't exhaust yourself anymore trying to make it special when it can't be with you and dc2 both being unwell.

And get some sleep when you can, even if it's just half an hours nap it can make a difference. It's the only way to get through.
Best wishes to you all, hope you are on the mend soon

beingsetup Sat 25-Dec-10 15:44:10

All the best and great ideas from the other posters above...

Cuddle up and watch films and save xmas for another day...?

Solo2 Sat 25-Dec-10 16:50:20

Thanks for these messages of support. DC1 has been v good but clearly frustrated. DC2 has been either in bed or having the runs on the loo. I've been either sitting on his bed with him or in my own bed and feeling more sick now myself.

It's not the best day really. Two years ago, we had another awful time where we were all having D & V and on Xmas morning, I got it and we had stale bread and crisps for Xmas lunch and I just wept. Last yr was brilliant simply because no one was ill.

This yr it's hit us again and I think this is just the start of a nasty bug. As the evening comes on, I must admit to feeling a bit down but hopefully we'll all feel better tomorrow, especially if we get some sleep.

It's times like this that I do wish I had another adult around - no matter who they were in relation to me - to help out and share the strain. But of course that other adult would have to be an asset - not a liability and I know all too many relationships where the OH contributes more negative than positive to family life.

Good luck to everyone else who's doing this alone and especially those who are themselves sick or have sick DCs.

hariboegg Sat 25-Dec-10 17:49:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anothermum92 Sat 25-Dec-10 17:58:48

Message withdrawn

Solo2 Sat 25-Dec-10 19:59:40

Thanks again. Really wishing the day were now over. I have no partner to miss but always miss my parents on high days and holidays (mother dead over 5 yrs ago and father dead over 2 yrs ago now). It would be nice to have someone to take care of me sometimes instead of me always having to be the strong one - but I'm getting there.

DS2 on 8th visit to loo now with the runs and has a headache and still feels sick. Bit worried about him. DS1 still being v good and playing with one of his new toys.

DS2 keeps saying, "Mummy, I love you. Mummy, Happy Christmas. At least we can have lots of celebrations over the next few days...." Poor little thing.

longdarktunnel Sat 25-Dec-10 20:28:53

The darling. Your boys sound delightful, which I am sure is all your doing. I do hope things look a bit brighter tomorrow.

happygolucky0 Sat 25-Dec-10 20:30:04

aww sending you loads of hugs. Not a very good situation for you. Maybe you could do your Christmas for New Years instead. ? Just keep the fluids up for your DS2 sure he will get through it soon. Hope you dont come down with it. Is there no one around to to help you out?

Solo2 Sun 26-Dec-10 08:30:44

Thanks. Unfortunately, I have got the bug too and feel v sick and aching up and down my spine but can't really look after me when I need to look after DC2 and DC1. we got some sleep but have been up since 3am with DC2 and now DC1 is up for the day and full of energy and more bolshi, wanting me to play with him and being sullen etc. All I want to do is go back to bed and rest/ sleep.

No, there's no one to help out. It's always just me on my own.

At least DC2 has now kept down some fluids but has v cracked lips and looks dehydrated. He's trying to sleep again now and I'd better check on DC1 and see if I can placate him.

Mzdemeanourunderthemistletoe Sun 26-Dec-10 09:33:08

DVD - or online chess game or something to keep him busy/entertained - or could you get him to do something like clean out kitchen cupboards etc for dosh?

My situation is a bit like yours - though I am lucky enough to have my mother around - have b/g twins of six- and father is not around. Don't get days or nights off and everything is fine and dandy - apart from when it's not! My mum had heart surgery in September and one of my kids wasn't well and everything collapsed a bit ....

Remember, you're doing a brilliant job - if you're worried about DS2, phone NHS Direct or google dehydration cures - something like sugar and salt dissolved in water - look [ eatment.aspx here] for more details.

At a push, where are you - you never know, there might be some MNetter locally who can help - although I know it is difficult sometimes to ask for help.

Hoping you all feel better soon - let us know how you're getting on.

happygolucky0 Sun 26-Dec-10 09:44:32

How old are your dc solo?

Solo2 Sun 26-Dec-10 10:57:43

They are 9 yr old twin boys. DS1 may be showing signs of the beginnings of this bug too now, as he's more irritable today and not at all hungry. DS2 still in bed reading now rather than lying down and has had sips of coca cola which a GP once told us was good for D & V bugs (something about the sugar and salts in it).

I have tried and failed to put together a remote control helicopter for DS1 (the instructions don't accord with the actual object!) and feel quite faint and dizzy now and exhausted! Oh dear, what a mess! If only DC1 already had the bug and we'd all be recovering then at the same time but it's always the case that they have these things one after another so there's no respite for me for days and nights on end!

Not as hard as it once was when they were v young however. That was regularly impossible and they were constantly ill from October to March every single year with no let ups! Summer of 2009 I had what i now think was Swine Flu and was really ill for 8 weeks but with no help or support and that was a nightmare but got through it. So I guess I'll get through this one too.

gillybean2 Sun 26-Dec-10 12:24:47

Point ds1 at toontown to keep him busy. My ds loves it and it will keep him busy for a while if he finds he likes it too.

You don't have to pay to be a member to start with, just create an account and get started. He'll have tasks to keep him busy (throwing pies at grey suited cogs and harmless stuff like that) with people to chat too as well, but only if you enable chat.

If he likes it come tell me and I'll arrange for him and my ds to meet up on there and be 'friends' so they can help each other out.

longdarktunnel Sun 26-Dec-10 22:55:30

How are you all this evening? Really hope you've had some rest

Solo2 Mon 27-Dec-10 16:53:28

gillybean2 that was a v kind offer and good suggestion. DS1 so far still occupying himself with Xmas stuff but I can show him that website if he wants to have a look. Have struggled bravely today to try to help him use his remote control helicopter but I find these technical things really incomprehensible and it's times like this that a technically minded relative - female or male - would have come in handy!

DS2 has had diarrhoea 9 times today and also keeps saying he needs to wee but then can't go much. So I've now resorted to dioralyte and more coca cola. He seems slightly better in other ways though.

DCs have watched loads of TV lying in my bed with me and I've been trying to sleep. Soul-destroying having to throw out more and more of our Xmas food each day as it goes past the use-by date and no one feels they can eat. DS1 off food a bit too but still not showing other symptoms.

One of the hardest things about being a single parent when the DCs are ill is not being able to get out of the house and have any kind of human contact and friends are all busy with their Xmases anyway.

Our DVD has broken down and so has my watch and it would have been nice to get out to the sales but no chance now. Our ancient portable combi TV is also on its last legs, which isn't good when TV is all we can do at present! However, it could be a lot worse.

Thanks for all the supportive messages. Hope others with sick DCs this Xmas are finding things getting better by now.

longdarktunnel Mon 27-Dec-10 17:02:05

I wish there was something I could do to help. But we're all sick too, with some horrible flu-like bug, so not much point infecting you even if you were nearby. Do try and get liquids down ds2 - 9 times in a day is a lot.

Are you quite sure that none of your friends could come and give you a hand? By now I imagine most of them will be fairly sick of their own families.

What about internet shopping to replace the watch/DVD player? Amazon could get a new one to you in a day or so...

This too will pass. That's what I've been telling myself the last couple of days, anyway. You're doing a great job.

snowmama Mon 27-Dec-10 20:22:12

Just wanted to say you are doing amazingly well.. I am in awe of your coping powers...

I hope you are all feeling better now and get to have bit of a rest yourself.

gillybean2 Tue 28-Dec-10 13:47:36

We came down with a nasty bug on boxing day a couple of years ago. To the point I don't remember much of the week that followed.
Ds got over it in about 3 days, but I spent a week barely able to get out of bed unless I absolutely had too and racked with pain if I so much as coughed.

He spent a lot of time on the wii and his ds and watching tv and eating cereal.

There was no one to call on, and looking back on it now I should probably have been in hospital I was that ill. Only thing is if I had ended up in hospital where would ds have gone?

Just rest, sleep and your dc will have to fend for themselve a little. Feeling guilty about it isn't going to achieve anything though so just accept it and do what you need to do to get through it together. If they are old enough maybe now is the time to teach them how to cook toast or a pizza or bung something in teh microwave if they don't already know.

Yes it's not nice chucking food away that you've spent money on, but better than running yourself ragged trying to make it the christmas you hoped for and just prolonging how long you are ill for.

You'll all be better in a few days and then you can enjoy the hols a bit more. There's still a week till they're back to school, so lots of time yet for the fun things.

Solo2 Wed 29-Dec-10 11:35:39

Just when it looked like DS2 was starting to gte better, DS1 has now been vomiting copiously for the last 1.5 hrs and I think he's in for a really bad bug. Last time DS1 had a vomiting bug, he vomited every 30 mins night and day for 9 days and lost tons of weight. I didn't sleep for 5 days and 5 nights at all. He's prone to vomiting anyway.

I must admit to feeling some despair today as I'd hoped we could begin to enjoy the last part of the Xmas hols. Had to cancel something we'd planned for today and will probably not make it to the panto we'd booked to see on Friday.

I feel ill still but completely unable to attend to any of my own needs. DS2 feels better and is a bit hyper consequently. DS1 is currently lying on the toilet floor moaning and then vomiting every few minutes, so I can't leave him (PC in nearby room).

I am massivly p***ed off, as you can imagine. I guess I'm trapped now for another week at least. DS1 has this much worse than DS2 had it, poor thing.

Help, get me out of here!!!

gillybean2 Wed 29-Dec-10 15:04:57

At least you know how long till it should run it's course now. You have a time frame and it won't be long now. Try not to dispair, and rest/sleep whenever you can, even if it's just fr a few minutes.

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