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Beginning to lose the will to live...

(16 Posts)
Allalone0 Fri 24-Dec-10 14:22:11

and here i am running very low.

Been a lone parent for a year and half, come to think of it even when i was with partner. Was still doing almost everything pretty much alone. So nothings really changed in that way.

Its just more physically obvious that I am 'alone'.
Xmas hols getting me down, nothing for kids to do. Its doing my head in. Along with having to deal with the emotions and difficulties of everything else that has happened in Life.

Life is so shite at the moment!!!
I just wanna SCREAAAMM!!!!

Sorry I needed to get that off my chest.

dobiegirl Fri 24-Dec-10 15:37:37

Sorry to hear you're so down. Have you got any family to help out a bit!! I'm in the same situation, if that helps you feel less alone with it all. Unfortunately I have no relatives to help me out so I'm really feeling it at the moment. Next year I'm scooping the babies up and flying out to Tenerife and spending Christmas day on the beach with them (well I said that last year) but I can't stand feeling like this again. Sorry I've hijacked your post however my point was there are many in the same boat - keep rowing ok!!smile

corlan Fri 24-Dec-10 15:38:12

Scream away allaloneO. I'll join in with you!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!angry

Christmas can be a real bummer, it brings up so many memories and emotions.
I've spent most of today fighting my desire to shout 'Bah Humbug' and much worse at people.

The two thoughts that keep me going are that,like you, I was no better off when I was in a relationship and that Christmas will be over in a couple of days. Then it's a New Year - a chance to make plans to try and improve our crappy lot! I'm going to try and retrain to get a better job,maybe even try internet dating.

Have you got any plans for ways you can improve things in 2011?

Bouncingback Fri 24-Dec-10 15:49:46

It's rubbish being by yourself with children at Christmas, so yep scream away...is this christmas worse/better than last year's?

There's loads of us in the same position, I've been in a foul mood all day as well, in fact I have been for the last couple of weeks, but like you said, better by your self than all the hassle and upset of still being with exes.

In a particular 'bah-humbug' moment when I was upset at the thought of christmas a friend mentioned all the women in miserable relationships this christmas and wishing their other half would just disappear.

Agree with corlan have you got an ideas for 2011?

allgonebellyup Fri 24-Dec-10 16:37:45

i feel fucking horrible too.
Boyfriend of a few months ended things with me this week. Car failed MOT so i had to sell it (as had no money for repairs) and have been in bed in tears for past couple of hours.

Its horrible isnt it. My sister just told me that im not welcome at her house tomorrow if i am going to be a misery and ruin it for everyone.
But she has a lovely husband, dd, home and loads of money. And doesnt get it .sad

i will try to be happy for my kiddies though.

anothermum92 Fri 24-Dec-10 17:19:34

Message withdrawn

Allalone0 Fri 24-Dec-10 17:43:54

Thanks to you all.
Dobie, it does help to know that I am not the only one in this difficult state.

Allgonebellyup, a BIG Hug from me to you. Sorry to hear of what you have been through. How thoughtless of your sister! She could have been more understanding of your feelings. After all that you've been through. But i guess, that is the sad reality. That those who aren't in the same situation as us, just don't get it!!

Love to all my trustee mners, at least i can rely on all u lovely ladies to help me out when im down.

beingsetup Fri 24-Dec-10 18:43:38

[big hugs] emoticon.

Sorry op and I hope next year brings you everything you want...

hariboegg Fri 24-Dec-10 20:29:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Allalone0 Fri 24-Dec-10 22:05:39

Hugs to you Haribo.....((((hug))))

emmaneezerscrooge Fri 24-Dec-10 22:43:23

Just wanted to echo the whole - heres to a better 2011!

We had the joy of the ex being here for 4 hours today I escaped for a bit so I didn't stab him for being so fucking happy went down to my friends to drop off their presents for an hour, before his parents arrived to drop off the kids presents..

The boys are now mercifully asleep, and I'm ignoring the fact that most of the stuff under the tree is a: for th kids and b: from other people.., I also have my whole families presents here - Ive not been able to et across to them, nor my Mum over here because of the snow so I've not seen her, and won't till after the even as t'were sad - I could have gone yesterday at a push - but ds2 is horribly ill - its full on flu - which on top of ASD well he's a barrel of laughs hmm

Oh and to cap it all, the ex and his new missus want to skype with the kids tomorrow morning let the joy be unconfined!

So I'm not doing a Christmas dinner till ds is well again.. in fact I might wait till my Mum can get and we can swap presents then..

anyhoo... I have about 5 hour till ds1 wakes up and flaps till I consent to going downstairs,and gawd only knows when ds2 will wake up for another moan, groan, wail and flail...

But yeah - 2011 kinda HAS to be better eh? Planning already, need to find a school to volunteer in so I can enrol ona part time course at the college and train up as an LSA - theres remarkably little you can do with a degree in psychology!

ChasingSquirrels Fri 24-Dec-10 22:48:50

pour it out on here, then get up tomorrow and enjoy it with the kids,.
And Allgone - sorry to hear that
Hugs to all of us.
It isn't much fun once they are in bed and you are on you own - and times like this bring it home.

Allalone0 Sat 25-Dec-10 22:43:50

Hugs to all of us who are alone today. :-(

allgonebellyup Mon 27-Dec-10 14:27:10

How are you feeling, Allalone?

piranhamorgana Mon 27-Dec-10 14:41:16

Hugs to everyone on this thread.
Another one here,on my own with 5 dc. No water since last Thursday, and am sooo longing for a bath....

Snow,snow,snow..moan,moan..

"what can I /we have/do now, Mum..."

" he/she did x/y/z to me..." ...repeat x 1000,000

Fed up and irritable...

Roll on summer.

Allalone0 Mon 27-Dec-10 21:18:20

Allgone, im feeling abit better thanx. Glad xmas is over...
I forced myself to get out of the house and do something as simple (or difficult with 2 of my 3 kids in tow, depending on how you look at it) as food shopping. Which helped abit cos i had to actually get dressed and look somewhat respectable rather than walking around in my pj's. Which is what i have been doing. I think its some sort of depressive state i was going through. Trying to be patient with myself and listening to really loud music helps, somewhat.

Piranha i know what you mean about hearing those magical words 100 000 times in a day. How lovely for us (NOT!!!).
You just want to say SHUT UP!!!

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