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stop me being inscure

(20 Posts)
twoteens Fri 03-Dec-10 13:54:14

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BEAUTlFUL Fri 03-Dec-10 14:01:06

I'm like this!

twoteens Fri 03-Dec-10 14:09:31

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BEAUTlFUL Fri 03-Dec-10 14:10:51

OK, here's my advice...

* Stop texting him first, if the wait for a reply is killing you! Leave it for him to contact you, then you know he is thinking about you, not busy, etc.

* Don't feel you have to go overboard thanking him for dates, etc. i'm sure you thanked him whilst on the date, so no need to keep doing it! You'll look insecure that way. He got to see YOU!

* What else do you have going on in your life? Goals, ambitions, etc? Have other things to get excited about not some man.

* Realise and know and trust that if this all fell apart, you would be fine. He is not your Last Chance At Love. I know he sounds perfect, but a) He's not!; and b) You deserve someone fab, so don't go around pinching yourself/waling on eggshells -- you should still be evaluating him, at this early stage.

* Do more exercise. Hard exercise, at the gym, etc. It stops you worrying so much, honest.

BEAUTlFUL Fri 03-Dec-10 14:12:31

Or... There's a reason you feel insecure, so maybe he's not as perfect as you think? How do you know he's working tonight, for example? Where does he work?

twoteens Fri 03-Dec-10 14:20:18

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twoteens Fri 03-Dec-10 14:22:32

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BEAUTlFUL Fri 03-Dec-10 14:24:28

Whew! smile

BEAUTlFUL Fri 03-Dec-10 14:25:42

You're just being an adorable nutjob then. smile

It's lovely that he's telling you how much he likes you. It's not bad at all that you haven't said it back yet. Two months is nothing, see how he is over Xmas, NYE.

BEAUTlFUL Fri 03-Dec-10 14:28:21

Has he replied to your text yet? You've got me going, now!

twoteens Fri 03-Dec-10 14:39:13

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twoteens Fri 03-Dec-10 14:41:08

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BEAUTlFUL Fri 03-Dec-10 15:34:54

You have to get to the stage when you honestly wouldn't want to text him later. If you texted him and didn't get a reply, no way would you want to text again - would you?

I think a call every couple of days is fine, but not very thrilling! Wouldn't he be in more frequent contact if hereally, really liked you? Every BF I've had who was really into me has been in contact every day. Ex was not into me and so used to call every couple of days or so, never more. hmm

buy a boo like Why Men Love Bitches and be sure that you are not giving more than you're getting. Some posters on here are anti doing anything ecept being your complete and honest self, but I'm not, to be honest - women's open/honest true selves are often so VERY demonstrative that I think it can put men off, esp at the start.

BEAUTlFUL Fri 03-Dec-10 15:36:39

Sorry to fuel your insecurities by saying he's not calling very much. NOT HELPFUL, except maybe really do look at his actions towards you recently (not just on the 2nd date when any bloke worth his salt would be on absolute best behaviour) and ignore anything he says till after 3 months. smile

twoteens Fri 03-Dec-10 16:07:19

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Lemonstartree Fri 03-Dec-10 16:45:58

I hope he replies soon. I am exactly the same. I have been seeing a bloke for a couple of weeks only - its all going SO well, and I know that but I cant stop twisting myself into knots, although I KNOW that for now I don't need to. He contacts me very often, in a nice way... but I still get anxious.. I am more settled than I was in the 'pre dating' phase... but its still a bit of an anxiety provoking rollercoaster!

twoteens Sat 04-Dec-10 18:18:18

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BEAUTlFUL Sun 05-Dec-10 10:28:13

Awww, lovely news smile

gillybean2 Sun 05-Dec-10 13:01:31

Think the hardest thing to do after a bad relationship is learning to trust yourself again.

It is so easy to let past relationships taint your feelings in a new one. But just step back and really look at the situation when you feel yourself getting concerned like this.

He might have been out of credit, or asleep, or doing chores. Just chill and let it be.
I know when it's all exciting and new it's easy to get drawn into the thrill of hearing and worrying what it means if you don't. But it wasn't that many years ago that we didn't have this instant text/commuincation world and we didn't think anything of waiting a couple of hours to get a reply to a phone call.

So just take these first few weeks as nothing too serious and learn to trust your instincts again. If you feel you are being ott (as you clearly were feeling in your OP) then step back and wait. Hard as that can be!

allgonebellyup Sun 05-Dec-10 13:37:20

OH god, the texting and then waiting for the reply used to KIIIIIILLL me.
But then i would wait for him to text me first, and only rarely he would. hmm

Glad yours is working out well!

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