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Do you ever see something and think...

(9 Posts)
HappyWithLife Fri 03-Dec-10 13:34:24

...thank God that's not me anymore? I was just on the bus coming home from xmas shopping, and there was a man sitting at the front. Absolutely hammered out of his brains, effing and blinding at everyone, shouting at the driver because he was stuck in the traffic etc. I noticed this man had a wedding ring on, and was not, judging by his clothes etc, a down and out type. He looked like he had a home, and a wife, and possibly kids.
Now I wasn't married to an alcoholic but I was married to an abusive nasty man, and I felt sick at the thought of this man going home to a wife. He had already threatened a lad on the bus, and shouted at me because I laughed (not at him, I was on the phone), and you could see he was spoiling for a fight.
I could be wrong, he could live alone, divorced, never taken his ring off but it does make you think, doesn't it, about all the women (and men) who are still in abusive relationships. I am so so glad that I managed to escape it with my DCs, but some people aren't so lucky. It just made me quite sad.

corlan Fri 03-Dec-10 13:49:29

I often feel the same way.

Sometimes I think it stops me from moving forward though because I'm afraid I'll end up with another man like that. sad

<< must try to be more positive!>>

HappyWithLife Fri 03-Dec-10 13:55:58

Corlan...yes sometimes that's a danger for me too. But I think (hope) I've learnt enough to recognise the signs and get out at the first sign of trouble. Otherwise he has not only stolen the years of my life I was with him, but has also ruined the rest of my life too. I won't let him have that power over me.

corlan Fri 03-Dec-10 13:59:04

You live up to your name well Happy smile

HappyWithLife Fri 03-Dec-10 14:05:15

I have a lot to be happy about Corlan grin
Freedom is the best feeling in the world. x

BEAUTlFUL Fri 03-Dec-10 14:20:41

Yes! Last week one of the lovely mums at the school had a 30-minute rant to me about her DH, housework, feeling swamped, being only one to do anything, etc...

Wow, I felt so serene and stress-free!

elastaelf Fri 03-Dec-10 14:47:44

I do worry about this also. Have a lovely happy homelife with me and the DC's.

Have been dating, would love to find a long term partner, but just cant imagine upsetting my happy ship. Life is so much less stressful since my ex left us - he was very controlling and critical of me

BertieBotts Fri 03-Dec-10 15:00:20

Yes, I do - sometimes it's something like you've seen, or something on TV/in a book, or something someone says. I had a fleeting moment of it watching Harry Potter the other day confused

I don't feel it's prevented me from moving on though. I'm in a new relationship now which I wasn't looking for at all, it just sort of developed, and it's going really well, I'm very happy. I find though that it's actually harder to hear/see these things now. I sometimes read mumsnet threads and whereas when I was with XP towards the end or when we were recently split up I'd have posted being all feisty and supportive, now often I read them and want to post and help but I just can't. sad

I still feel angry though. So many of us have gone through this, why is it still happening?

hariboegg Fri 03-Dec-10 15:01:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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