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very sad

(4 Posts)
pineapplecube Wed 01-Dec-10 11:59:35

feel so down as xmas approaches nearly 10 months since h left for ow. Just feels so raw still some days. we were married 20 years. Can't bear the thought of always feeling this sad. Just want the family life back as it was

elastamum Wed 01-Dec-10 12:08:26

Hi Pineapple, Sorry you're feeling so low.

Have been there myself, I think the first couple of christmasses are really hard and it takes at least a couple of years to get it back together.

Do you have friends in RL you can talk to? Whenever I have a crisis I have a couple of girlfriends that I phone for therapy / moral support. It has made a huge differentce to eme.

Keep posting, you are not alone smile

evolucy7 Wed 01-Dec-10 12:24:48

Hi pineapplecube, it does get better, and times like christmas highlight the wish for families as they were.
I agree with what elastamum has said, I think it is very normal to miss that 'family', I remember the first summer after ex left, sitting in the park on a Saturday with all the 'families' around, and wishing it wasn't just me and the kids but that 'he' was there too. By the next summer, while that feeling may never completely go away, I had absolutely no desire for 'him' to be there smile. How do you feel about your husband?
In RL I have found there are many people who are separated, re-married, step kids etc , more than you may realise before it happens to you. And especially on here, obviously hmm there is a lot of support.

grumpypumpkin Wed 01-Dec-10 12:30:45

sad Pineapple
I imagine can take a long, long time to feel anywhere near normal again after a marriage of 20 years ends. What do you have planned for Christmas this year? Do you have kids? What are your main sources of support?
Christmas is a real bugger for people who are not feeling that happy, there is a lot of pressure on people with all the build up, when in reality it is only one day.
Thinking of you

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