I've been a single mum for a year now. I have 2 DC and still live in the ex-marital home. I am self-employed, work from home, aged nearly 40. DC1 is at school, DC2 goes to nursery 3 days a week.
I just can't seem to accept that this is my life now! i have no plans for the future, am not building up any savings or anything, life is just pasing by.
Have managed to create a good co-parenting relationship with ex-H, which is something. We alternate weekends. but when the DC are away I just go out and socialise and don't get anything "proper" done.
The house needs a good clean, the DC's bedroom needs a proper reshuffle, I need to be sensible about work and finances... Instead I've poured all my energies into bloody DATING and trying to find a new bloke because I'm scared I'll end up on my own... but really, I don't even know if I want one.
How can I focus on creating a "proper" life for me and the D, now it's just me and them? I want us to be a happy team, but DC1 is naughty and tiring (possibly Dyspraxic) and I shout at them too much.
A year has passed and I've done nothing to move my life forward. Help.
Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.
Lone parents
Can't get enthused about my life as a Single Mum :(
BEAUTlFUL · 29/11/2010 23:45
That's a lovely idea, pickgo, but I know it wouldn't work for me as it'd only be me reading it. Maybe a blog? I'm unhealthily driven by what other people think of me. 
Solo - a cleaning day is a great idea. We can post updates here and bore the entire board to death cheer each other on. 
Monty27, thanks so much for your post. I know that feeling of wanting the DC to look cared-for. Maybe that's getting to me more than I realise. The mornings are such a rush and neither of them will stand still for a face-wash, hair-brush, etc, so often I loo at the eldest one especially and feel ashaed of myself. 
Don't ever feel ashamed of yourself, you are a single parent with two dc's that you are caring for more or less single handed, and you are adjusting to one hell of a change that no doubt you never signed up for. It's doubtless that you're doing a good job.
I'm sure that in almost every single household, the getting them out in the mornings is traumatic in some way or another and you are doing it alone.
Working at home is probably stifling in some ways, and I can understand that. Do you get the chance to have a swift lunch/coffee with friends/work colleagues?
Like Dione I did a timetable too for night times lol, half hour bath, half hour supper, half hour homework, half hour our time, that sort of thing (but not necessarily in that order 
).
It's not easy, no-one will think it's easy, be a bit easier on yourself .
And yes, when dc's were at exh's at weekends i used to go to the pub etc, there is nothing wrong with that. I was more or less your age too. You aren't doing anything wrong. Enjoy it as much as you can.
I love the timetable idea! I love that. That's what I need - a proper structure to our days, weeks, months.
That doesn't sound stupid at all, it sounds doable and productive.
"Investing your time in your family, home and yourself is definitely going to pay off both in the short and long term."
This really is wonderful advice - thank you so much.
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