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Dont want to leave my baby yet

(6 Posts)
becknnico Sun 28-Nov-10 07:55:29

Ds is almost 8 months old and I am feeling a bit down about the thought of having to leave him and go back to work/school. My income is becoming a bit unstable and I have to make a move soon. I am very stumped on what I wish to go back and study at school first off.I am also praying that through loans I can go only to school and not have to work (dont wish to go back to old line of work) as well but I dont think the loans will cover all of my expenses that will also be going up because of daycare..sniff..sniff.sad His father lives 9 hours away so he will not be of much help and I am just having the hardest time dealing with this thought of leaving him for so many hours every day lately. I dont want to leave ds for any amount of time so soon.

StealthPolarBear Sun 28-Nov-10 08:15:08

Sorry to hear about this
I am a bit confused about the school/work comments, are you very young?
Can you find out now how much you would have if you didn't work and see if you could budget?
Would you be going back to work at the same place as before you were pg?
Not sure which stage of education you're at, but would the Open University be an option?
Do you have any local family support?

tigerjungle Sun 28-Nov-10 10:05:25

You don't have to rush back to work. I stayed on Income Support until DS was at school, it made much more sense with the costs of childcare and meant that I could care for my own child instead of handing him over to someone else. It meant I got housing benefit, council tax benefit and child tax credits which covered the basics.

All the money in the world wouldn't have helped my son as much as me being there for him in the early days, especially as his father wasn't around either.

LIZS Sun 28-Nov-10 10:11:45

Are you not in Uk - your terminology and distances suggest possibly not. Financial advice may not be so relevant but in UK you may get tax credits towards Childcare costs and the father should be paying something towards his child whether yopua re ina relationship or not. Childminders are usually cheaper and more flexible than daycare btu you need to book well ahead for a good one to take a baby, as they are limited on numbers by age group. Unfortunately becoming a sahm is sometimes a luxury you can't afford but there may be a compromise by working pt (15 hours minimum to get tax credits) which might also give you time to study.

becknnico Sun 28-Nov-10 16:10:08

No, I am in the US where they give 12 weeks max for maternity leave. I got fired when I was pregnant so unemployment has been my main source of income which is close to nothing but enough for now. However, the extension is still not passed through legislation and it is unpredictable whether I will recieve the next one or not. I would not be going back to the same bartending job as they fired me and would rather not go back to this anyway. School may give me loans sufficient to live off of but only if I go back full time, and I dont want to leave him for that much time plus the added hours at home in which schoolwork would consume me. My education level is only one year at college. I am 27 and have made a decent living as a bartender for years, but it is not fit for my life anymore. Hisfather helps, but not enough.

wrighty2010 Tue 30-Nov-10 17:55:01

Hi, sorry to hear you are a bit down. I can totally sympathise, my baby is 5 months old and I feel physically sick at the thought of leaving her. To be honest I am a bit depressed I think, have you got someone to talk too? telling someone how you feel can sometimes help, I know it doesnt solve the problem but you dont feel so alone. Take care xx

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