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WWUD Am I just being niggly?

(6 Posts)
tomhardyismydh Thu 25-Nov-10 10:01:05

Exp aranged a few weeks ago to take dd to her football practice this saturday morning.

every time i see him or talk to him he keeps saying things like, find out if dd really wants to go to football, or will it be on if its cold, when will they let you know?, or whats happening saturday, is she going to football, let me know if they cancel.

last night he returned her and as soon as they walk through the door he says dd doesnt want to go to football she sayss its too cold!! ???she is 4 yrs old and not sure she is able to predict the weather for saturday or make that descission on weds for god sake. so he keeps saying to her, you dont want to do you? and she just kind of nodding in agreement. So I tell them well its only weds, so im not sure we can decide about sturday just yet. Unless come saturday there is a good enough reason then she will go.

he then went on and on about how her will neeed to wrap up if he needs to stand out in the cold.

so then he leaves and says let me know about football on saturday....I just bloody did.

now im tempted to text him and say ill take her you pick her up after. as i dont want him interfering with her activities like this and making her tell me she doesnt want to things that she clearly does just to suite him. if he doesnt want to go fine im happy to.

so what would others do just tell him she is going and make him endure it or take her myself?

evolucy7 Thu 25-Nov-10 10:16:18

I have to admit in my experience from my ex he made it quite clear he did not want the inconvenience of having to take the children to any activities!! I now if possible make any activities after school, and have managed so far to avoid Saturdays.
If you don't think he will take her, I would say that you will take her there and he can meet you there. However, what time is it? Is it right at the start of her time with him? Would he be funny about missing time with her if you took her?

tomhardyismydh Thu 25-Nov-10 10:25:33

its 10.30 till 11.30, he tends not see her many weekends he normally sees her after school one day a week and does do the swimming once a month. if does see her at weekends he picks her after football, he has done the football once in the summer.

the thing that bugs me so much is he is the one who said ill take her to football that week. but rather than saying upfront now I dont want to he is messing about over.

if he did not take her i would be annoyed but wouldnt make a sceen over it. I just would make sure I do it in the future.

Im not sure how he would react if i told him ill take her. i dont really want to piss him off but at the same time I think he should know its not on to try and control her like this.

cestlavielife Thu 25-Nov-10 10:25:38

well she is only four - is it worth it?

clealry it is about him tho not her....but
in terms of him - ignore him, but if he cant be bothered to wrap up then you have to accept she wont go if he is in charge.

or alternatively, you could commit to taking ehr every week. so your idea of saying "i will take her you pick her up afterwards" should be fine.

but at four years old does it really matter if she does football or not? is it a particularly good activity for her? could she swop to indoor gymnastics etc?

tomhardyismydh Thu 25-Nov-10 10:30:02

cest, the football can be missed of course and come saturday if she said i dont want to go its cold or i want to miss it this week then that would be fine i wouldnt be making her go.

but I think its more about him trying to control her and using her to voice what he does not want to do its very manipulative.

infact im sure she would rather go and see him after.

evolucy7 Thu 25-Nov-10 10:34:19

To be honest I'd just say you said you were going to take her, if you're not let's just do it how we normally do, I'll take her and you collect afterwards.

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