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Do i have any rights to meet new housemate?

(9 Posts)
ParrotandBubbles Tue 16-Nov-10 15:53:25

My ex wants my DC to start overnight visits which I am all for as I am desperate for a time to myself but he has recently started house sharing with a guy who i have never meet or know anything about. I personally would feel a lot happier if i meet the guy particularly as my ex's work pattern means he will be occosianly babysitting. My ex says there is no need for me to meet him as I should trust him. Do I have any rights to meet the housemate or do I just have to trust me ex? Thanks

bettiboo Tue 16-Nov-10 17:25:44

I'm not sure you do to be honest. I wanted to meet my exP's new partner when they very quickly moved in together but he wouldn't let me. I suspect you may need to trust his word, however you're also the mother and I would be anxious about my children staying in a house with someone I've never met. I think it's common courteousy to introduce you to his housemate - what's the problem (imo). I'm sorry I don't think I've been very much help.

xxhunnyxx Tue 16-Nov-10 19:05:14

I don't think that it's unreasonable for you to ask to meet him, especially if he'll be babysitting.
Just explain that it's you're not wanting to judge him but it's just for your own piece of mind so you know your kids are in good hands.

hairytriangle Tue 16-Nov-10 19:12:12

you have no right but I'd ask anyway.

BaroqueAroundTheClock Tue 16-Nov-10 19:14:19

you can ask. Though you have no rights, but just remember he could (if that way inclinced) do the same to you and demand to meet anyone you have to stay/look after the DC.

ParrotandBubbles Tue 16-Nov-10 21:09:14

thanks everyone - have just rung ex and it turned out he was being awkard because I have a new fella and he hadn't realised that I'm yet to introduce him to the kids so he thought I was setting up double standards. Have agreed to do a double meet so both of us are happy.

gillybean2 Wed 17-Nov-10 02:48:10

Have you asked about a police check? If he's going to be babysitting sometimes i think the least you can ask for is for this.

nd it's reasonable for your ex (and you) to expect the same for your new fella too.

cestlavielife Wed 17-Nov-10 10:31:17

you dont ask your friends for their police checks when you drop your kids of with them for babysitting/play dates - i dont think umbrella CRB orgs will accept a request for police check unless there is a formal employer/employee situation.

you could ask their name tho and google....

gillybean2 Wed 17-Nov-10 17:31:01

My neighbour's new partner is being asked to have a police check via CAFCASS.

If you ask a friend you presumably know them well enough to trust them. I've turned down babysitting offers from people I barely know.

And there were plan's afoot to have anyone who looked after a child for more than an hour a week to be police checked. But it's been shelved after people complained that they couldn't do car share or recipricate holiday cover etc without being police checked and the system would have ground to a halt with so many checks being required.

With Sarah's law you can at least ask for that check on him perhaps.

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