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(5 Posts)
ladyxxx Wed 10-Nov-10 15:09:40

I am 36 seperated mum of 6 children. 2 of the children are my step children that I have raised since thay where 2 n 5 yrs old so I do see them as my own kids.

I also have 1 18 yr old from a previouse relationship but she has learning difficulties, plus a 8 yr old daughter with aspergers

my soon to be ex hubby left the family home after 12 yrs together to set up a new home with his new gf n moved over 600 miles away 7 months ago.

since then I have been the sole provider n responsable adult taking care of all the children... he has not seen the kids once since he left.. sent no kind of financual support.. the most the kids get is a 10 minute call between the 6 of them weekly.

also the biological mother of my two (step) daughters doesnt send any financual support cos again she makes excuses she doesnt work n the normal blah blah blah on why she doesnt see the 2 girls and so forth..

so here I am dealing with 1 of 8yrs child with aspergers.. 1 18 yr old with learning difficulties, 2 hormonal teenagers of 13 n 15yrs that are seeking counceling as thay have got major anger n abandonment issues and 2 other kids that are only 10 n 5 yrs old n obviously are still unsettled from their father falling off the face of the earth.
My 10 yr old son is one minute very obnoxiouse n 5 mins later wanting hugs n my 5 yr old is so clingy if she could crawl into my skin she would in a heart beat.

N I AM EXHAUSTEDBOTH PHYSICALY N MENTALY!!!!!!! the docs have put me on strong antidepressents n tell me I need to start taking care of myself... but how do I do this when I am the only parent that gives a damn?...

sorry for the tale of woe.... just right now life seems to be throwing things at me from all directions and am feeling very lonely, tired n forgotten.

mjinhiding Wed 10-Nov-10 15:11:16

Message withdrawn

whiteandnerdy Wed 10-Nov-10 15:53:46

Jeeez ...

Clearly not very constructive, but I'll say it again.

Jeeez ...

I bet it's like single-handedly fighting a war between from 4pm till 9pm.

happybubblebrain Wed 10-Nov-10 20:01:39

Lots of hugs.
That's so much to deal with.
Do you have anybody helping you? You really need help with all that.

I'm always shocked that grown adults can just walk away and leave another person to cope all by themselves and I'm shocked that society allows this to happen.

You deserve several medals and lots and lots of support.

ANTagony Wed 10-Nov-10 20:14:30

I was abandoned with two after a long marriage and thought I had it tough (elder now 7 and ASD).

So sorry that you're feeling alone - people do care, we are here listening to you/ ready to listen and caring.

Has your DDs Aspergers been formally diagnosed? Have you applied for DLA? If so have you applied for carers allowance? People on here can help if you haven't yet applied as can citizens advice.

CSA I believe can help you claim even small amounts of money off absent parent comes of benefits even if they manage to avoid work.

Do you feel up to contacting your local citizens advice to review the local support options available to you? In my local area I recently discovered that there is a special (subsidised) holiday club for ASD children. Also day centres that can help with young adults.

I'd be happy to do some googling for you if you want to PM me with the area you're in to see what I can find in your area and get you numbers and openining hours for your citizens advice.

Theres nothing wrong with saying 'I need some help right now'. You are doing amazingly to have held things together but you are a mere mortal with needs like the rest of us - let them be recognised and hopefully some of them will be met.

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