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Tired of being a 'mug'

(2 Posts)
StellaBrillante Tue 09-Nov-10 08:36:21


When I divorced ex-husband, he walked away from all the responsibilities and all the debts too. I was left as a single parent, working full-time, no family around and paying all the debts that we had accumulated together. In fact, even ds' nursery / school fees which x had committed himself to paying 50% of, I ended up paying on my own - unsurprisingly.

Recently, a long-term relationship came to an end. The house owned together is in negative equity meaning that selling isn’t an option and after trying to talk ex through all the options available (and organising estate / letting agents visits on my own), I ended up staying put with ds. Ex has moved in with a relative (a very nice set up by the way so not that he's worse off by any means) and has pretty much washed his hands off any responsibilities - in fact, even things which had been outstanding before, for months, to be done around the house were left for me to take care of.

My problem now is that I am experiencing serious financial difficulty, the current arrangement for ds to get to school isn't working and I am desperately trying to leave my job / go to uni next year. So with all of this to sort out, and the almost certainty of having to move houses next year, what I really feel like doing is passing the problem on to ex and letting him sort it out. Not that I think he would just do it - gosh, it was hard enough to get him to hang a picture up on the wall! - but if he doesn't, the mortgage will default. On the other hand, if he takes care of it and arranges to rent house out, not only will that pay for the mortgage but it'll also cover the repayment on a joint loan. On that note by the way, I’ve reached a point where I don’t think I care if I have to declare myself bankrupt – honest.

I have never done something like this before but I am tired of it always being me sorting out problems. At the end of the day, the way I see it is that ex’s needs to wake up and smell the coffee. We both committed ourselves to buying a property and we are unfortunately in a position where neither of us can walk away from it – so it’s not like he’s being nice by letting me live there while his name is still on the mortgage. And in all of this, in particular when I had plumbing problems shortly after he moved out, there has been a complete disregard for the fact that I DO have more than enough to deal with and unlike him, I don't have the extra pairs of hands to help me out every time something goes wrong.

I'd welcome your views on the above, please!

SMummyS Wed 10-Nov-10 13:02:18

I would seek advice before you do anything, citizens advice or a solicitor may be able to help you figure out where to go from here.

Bancruptcy is something that you will have to live with forever, it would mean difficulty getting a rented house or a mortgage.

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