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Right... Potential first Meet from POF... Advice?

(15 Posts)
crace Mon 08-Nov-10 19:33:51

I haven't dated in 10 years, gah that makes me feel old.. Been talking to a chap in POF and tentative coffee and cinema trip in a weekend or two.. So advice, what do you do?? I've not Internet dated before either so it's all rather confusing!

smokinfireworks Mon 08-Nov-10 19:43:42

Meet somewhere public, tell a friend, have a "ring in" time with said friend (to check you are safe and whether you need an excuse to leave a crap date!!)

I have met a couple. Both for coffee, one we then went for dinner. I would say personally I prefer the short date first, cinema etc second - just so I dont have to sit next to them through a film if they're really not for me!!

But above all, enjoy it. Its scary, but worth it!

crace Mon 08-Nov-10 20:03:15

Yes, true- he suggested the cinema, makes it sound more of a friends type thing which is fine! I suggested a coffee first only to meet each other first! As you say, so neither of us are stuck.

Is a phone call beforehand necessary/advisable?

smokinfireworks Mon 08-Nov-10 20:27:27

what a phone call to the date? I didnt, texts yes, but hadnt actually "spoken" to them until we met up

readywithwellies Mon 08-Nov-10 21:37:33

Hmm, I really don't like dates to the cinema. You can watch telly at home, on your own, you need to get to know this man. How can you do that watching a film?
I think men who suggest the cinema are a little misguided, or really boring!

readywithwellies Mon 08-Nov-10 21:38:34

P.S. Good luck on your date crace. I met my dp through pof. He is lovely, there are some good ones out there.

crace Mon 08-Nov-10 21:40:29

Wellies, this worries me too... Either boring, or he might just be shy and suggested something I said I was looking forward to doing now I had some free time... Only one way to tell!

ginodacampoismydh Mon 08-Nov-10 21:44:34

no to cinema for sure, meet for coffee is enough if you get on maybe walk to a very close pub?

i would give him the benifit of the doubt though maybe he hasnt dated for a while either and didnt know what to suggest. have fun grin

readywithwellies Mon 08-Nov-10 21:50:44

Crace, don't overanalyse, go to the cinema. It is the obvious date choice and like you said, he is probably as nervous as you. My dp got out of his car and was visibly shaking. I thought, oh God, I have picked a right one here.
I also thought, hmm, that boot is big enough to bundle me into, better not get too close. grin
You may have to go on a few dates but it is all experience and you may find someone special

crace Tue 09-Nov-10 09:04:43

Hmmm... yes, true. Will just try to enjoy myself - its been years since I've seen a film!

Wellies - fab story about DP... very cute now, no doubt.. worrying at the time!

Thanks for the advice everyone, it does help -I am quite nervous starting all this rubbish again!

readywithwellies Tue 09-Nov-10 23:45:10

I was nervous too, crace, I had been with my exh for 10 years. Was not easy, but I figured the longer you leave it, the harder it will get.
Don't make too much effort, just be yourself and if he turns up then it is a success. Any more than that, your expectations are too high.

luceeloo Wed 10-Nov-10 06:17:49

Good luck crace. I have my first Internet date tonight ahh! We've spent about 8 hours (!) in total talking on the phone which certainly helped me but I'm still so nervous. We are going to a bar but both will be driving so won't drink so I know I can't lose any inabitions. Make sure he travels to you you'll feel safer in a public place you know well. Look it's 6.15am and I'm awake - nearly 12 hours to get ready! Gonna need it I haven't been on a date for 3.5 years. Wish me luck!

JaquiChan Wed 10-Nov-10 15:20:06

luceeloo, good luck for tonight...oh and you must report in as soon as you get back grin.

loonies Wed 10-Nov-10 15:25:17


crace Wed 10-Nov-10 20:58:20

Luceeloo, good luck!

See we've not talked on the phone and doubt we will.. Is there a formula to successful Internet dating?

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