I am on maternity leave but my exh is a chef working long shifts and with only one guaranteed day off each week - Saturday. I am keeping contact via text messages only and I agreed to decide on a pick up and drop off time at a neutral location as of next week and have given him a time slot for this saturday, but I pointed out we needed to make arrangements for Christmas.
He says Christmas Day (also his birthday) is his only day off and he wants to see our ds then, however as I was so looking forward to the 3 of us spending it as a family which now won't be happening I am reluctant to allow him this as I am finding his visits very upsetting as he only left 6 weeks ago when ds was just 4 weeks old and I don't want my day ruined by seeing him, and I don't want ds to pick up on my emotions and end up having his day ruined too. I know he is too young to realise what Christmas is but his first Christmas means a lot to me.
When I told him I had already said that Christmas day was a no no he got funny with me then involved his mother as he claimed I had told her he could see ds Christmas day, and I had explained to him that I had wanted to if we were getting back together, but not now as we're not. I explained his behaviour over the past 6 months to his mother and she backed off saying she will make him take responsibility and support both of us (ner ner!!!)
I have arranged for me and ds to stay with my mum from Christmas Eve until Boxing Day, and she has made it very clear my exh is not welcome, as have all of my family. We all live in the same town so it's not like we're far away, but I can't even contemplate seeing my exh's face over Christmas and there is not one person in my family who wants to answer the door to him either.
I know he'll think I'm doing this to hurt him but, even though I hope it might be a kick up the backside for him to make him realise what he's done, I'm not doing this to punish him. Every day I get to see my ds grow up whilst my exh misses out is hopefully enough punishment and caused totally by himself for leaving us.
Should I stick to my guns and risk upsetting my exh as his mother isn't pushing me to let him have his way, or should I give in just in case he tries to use it against me saying I'm stopping him from seeing his ds (especially as Christmas day falls on a Saturday)?
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Do I have to let ex see his son on Christmas Day?
62 replies
Marissa1984 · 01/11/2010 17:48
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