Can I ask how much child maintenance you get?

[SingleMumAndProud]

Sorry for the personal question but...
I have split with DH and rang CMoptions and they have said he needs to give me £40 a week.

We have a 1 year old and a 2 year old.

He is on a low wage but I still thought it would be more than that.

He has moved back in with his Mum so its hardly like he has to pay out for a house or anything (like I do!!).

I have suggested he pays me £200 a month so thats a bit extra. But when he left, every bill we have was in arrears and its all in my name for me to sort out and I am completly financially stuck.

[ChocHobNob]

There was a thread not long back and a lot of people were not receiving anything, or very little, for example £5 a week. (if you have a look back a few pages)

What everyone receives is individual though. It depends solely on his income. What someone else receives will bear no relation to how much your ex should pay you. If you gave CMoptions his income details for them to come up with that figure, then that is what the CSA for example would take from him. It would then be up to him if he paid any extra.

Have you discussed it with him and asked how much he will pay?

[Niceguy2]

I agree with Choc

Depending on what you mean by a low wage, £40 a week is actually sounding quite a good rate.

Another thing to bear in mind that there is a fair change you won't get it.

A lot of ex's skip child maintenance and the CSA have proven again and again their lack of ability in helping.

To the point where i strongly advise you not to count on that money to pay your regular outgoings such as rent, utility bills etc. Otherwise all you do is set yourself up for a fail and give your ex a lot of control over your day to day life.

[QueenOfFlamingEverything]

I get £5 a fortnight.

It took 5 years to start getting even that!

[Tortoise]

if you look on the CSA website, there is a maintenance calculator which you can use to work out what they would make him pay.

My XP pays £25 a week for 10 and 13yr old DS's. Just managed to get him to up it from £20! OOOOH a whole fiver extra whoopee! lol!

Other XP pays zero! CSA sent me a letter a while ago saying he would pay £1.something as he is on benefits and has other children with his ex partners! Not worth the paper it was written on! Plus i have to pay travel costs to get to a contact centre once a month for him to see DD's.

[ginnny]

I get £68.00 a week - through CSA and have
2 dc aged 7 and 10.
Although he was an arse when we were together he's never once missed a payment, bless him!

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I got £10 a month for 2 years.

Then it stopped and I didn't bother reapplying.

Have had no money now for 9 years.

[onadietcokebreak]

The other point is although it doesnt really matter where he lives. Although he lives with his mum now he still needs to be able to afford to rent his own place.

As maintenance is no longer taking into account when assessing housing benefit, income support and tax credits it really is additional money to the Person with care.

The best advice I can give is to try and sit down and discuss the debts and maintenance together. If you can avoid CSA then probably a good idea. However make it clear if he messes you around then you will make an application.

My partner pays £47 pw for his two children.
My ex pays me £30 for our DS.

[nobodyisasomebody]

I have never had a single red cent.

Reality I hope you don't spend that all at once

[omnishambles]

I get 150 a month. 40 a week is good going though I suppose that means he hasnt got any nights at all - I get 150 because its 4/3 iyswim.

Were you married? The child maintenance is just that and everything else comes under the divorce stuff and isnt relevant.

[gillybean2]

Use the calculator.

secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

Bear in mind that the figure will be reduced if he has the dc overnight. So the figure you've quited is probably the maximum amount you could ever hope to get.

His circumstances (living with mum) etc are irrelevant. That's temporary most likely anyhow and he will need to find a place with space to have the children overnight too.

The calculation is based soley on a percentage of his salary and then deductions are made if he has any other children living with him. You then you get a percentage per child for any children he has but don't live with him. If he has other children then yours it gets shared between them all.

It used to be 20% of net pay for 2dc. But there was talk of changing it to gross pay. Not sure if that's been done yet though.

You can agree more between you of course. But as others have said don't come to reply on it. He can stop his payments with little notice. I've only had half what I should have this last year.

[CubaCat]

I get £6.25 per fortnight and I didn't start getting that until DS was almost 3. Ex is supposed to be being reassessed as he has a new job - so far the reassessment has taken over 14 months, so I'm not holding my breath. I'd be ultra happy to get £40 a week!!!

[Meglet]

£300 a month for 2 toddlers via the CSA. XP was only earning about £18k a year when they calculated that.

He was made redundant 4 months ago and still pays up, I think he got a hefty redundancy package. He hasn't seen them in over a year.

We are very very lucky.

[SingleMumAndProud]

Wow, I can't believe how little some people get .

I will stop moaning now and be grateful I will be getting what I am !

I already am really realying on it. I have more outgoing than incoming and that's not likely to change any time soon unfortunatly.

[onadietcokebreak]

If you already have more outgoing than incomings I would really advise you contact CAB/CCCS/national debtline for help.

Good Luck

[ChocHobNob]

moneysavingexpert website is good for day to day budgeting.

I would also advise against relying on it. Just as had you still been together, he could suddenly get his hours cut or lose his job and then you'll have to bear the brunt too by having the maintenance cut.

[gillybean2]

You have to rein in the spending.
Lots of people think single parents are rolling in it on benefits. This is simply not true for anyone I've ever met or spoken too. I'm working and I still struggle.

You are probably used to a certain lifestyle. But you have to cut back. All luxuries can be cut back on (haircuts, clothes, makeup, booze, meals out, takeaways etc). You might not like to go without them but you can certainly live without them.

Check you are getting the best deal on your bills, switch to direct debit if you can. Get advise on any debts you have to try and reduce the interest payments etc. And budget like mad.
I have every single penny accounted for (excluding what ex pays for ds - that's for luxuries, fun stuff and treats and I never rely on it) on a spreedsheet and put money aside for bills, necessities, saving for Christmas etc. It's tough but if you are strict with yourself you can do it.

You have to seriously look at what you can and can't afford. What really matters, what is vital, which you'd like to have but can do without, and what really can go really easily.
When I was living on benefits (couldn't afford to heat rooms much) we slept in one room together with jumpers and tracksuit trousers on over pjs. We would sit on the sofa with a duvet over us to keep warm and hot water bottles.

You can cut back on food spending too, buy economy and own brand items. If you run out of food money then you feed the kids and go without yourself. Simple as that.

If you keep spending beyond your means you will end up not able to pay for food, rent, water and electric. Those things matter, internet, starbucks, and nice clothes (as examples) don't. Even things like a car and a tv are not strictly necessities if you can't afford them.

[ladydeedy]

with you gillybean2. We dont have takeaways or meals out - it is amazing how much that adds up. Haircuts - get a wet cut and dry it when I get home. there are lots of small ways in which to cut back, which make a massive difference over the course of a year.
But blimey, my DH pays £400 per month for two kids, whether he earns or not that month, and gets moaned at (one now living with us so will apply for that to be altered).

[SingleMumAndProud]

gillybean - I already do all those things! Please don't think I am spending money when I am not! I haven't had my hair cut in over a year, clothes etc are from freecycle, food is all value stuff or home grown in the garden.

I have never been any different. This is the way it has always been.

[gillybean2]

Well the money must be going somewhere. Do you have a lot of debt you're paying back, or a big mortgage, or something like that perhaps?

[Wilts]

Ha-I get naff all. Award is in place for a huge amount ( ex is high earner) But I have not seen a penny of it in the last 8 years.

[BelleDameSansMerci]

Bloody hell... Cannot believe how little some of you get to support your children.

*Wilts" - that's just awful. Hope you get the money.

My "whateverthebloodyhellheis" (not entirely ex but we don't live together etc) pays £300 per month towards DD's nursery costs (I work full time, etc). This now seems like a huge amount compared to some above.

[SingleMumAndProud]

gilly beans - it goes on rent, bills, £200 a month loan, food, car (which we only use when we need to, we walk when possible).

And I sell lots of things to try and get some more money together. Which at the moment, is what is funding the food shopping.

We honestly don't spend much. Although I don't know exactly what incomings I will be getting yet as nobody has actually paid me anything yet.

I have just had a tin of value beans for breakfast as there isn't enough milk for me and I have a 14p tin of spaggetti for lunch. Not even with toast, just on its own as there is only a few slices of bread left, which is for the kids.

[Wilts]

Belle- we will never get a penny of it, Ex is self employed and so they say it is impossible to get the money from him.

I ask about their supposed 'powers' only in extreme cases they say, hmmm yes and 8 years in clearly not extreme

For what it is worth, my award for one child is over £600- to give an idea of what he earns. So rather galling that he won't even cough up £50 a month or something.

[SingleMumAndProud]

Wilts - I think you should take this further. Does your ex still see them? If you do everything legally, then when he doesn't pay, it at least gets backdated (probably not for teh last 8 years if there was no legally binding contract).