To leave London or not to leave London?

[sellotape12]

Think I'm going crazy. If you've read my earlier post today I'm feeling really homesick for a previous neighbourhood in London, when everything was fine. We are living in a nice butt up and coming neighbourhood and all we have done since moved here he's come home from work, do DIY and bitch about the weather.

I'm fantasising about jacking it all in and moving somewhere more countrysidey. Half of me loves London because of its diversity, liberalism, amazing arts and green spaces. A lot of our friends are here, but turning 30, test darting to split up and we feel divided. The other half of me hates the pollution, crazy prices and the fact we have to travel for 45 mins to to 4 miles. London can be grey, lonely and too busy.

Did anyone else feel like this? I'm having a third life crisis!

[sellotape12]

Okay, I clearly can't use an iPhone. Sorry for all the typos but hope you got the gist.

[Davros]

What's the other thread? Presumably it is relevant.
Personally I would never leave London but I've lived here all my life. I do understand how difficult it can be. You need to try to work out where you can make home. It can be anywhere. Every place has its community or several versions of community, you need to find the ones for you. Having said that, the grass is always greener .....

[Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies]

OP, I loathe London....

BUT I'd be very reluctant to leave it in your situation. Because, once you've left, the way things are it'd be very difficult to go back (that's assuming you own your own house, of course - otherwise the rents are so exorbitant, you probably are better off out of it).

And if I did decide that I wanted the countryside, I would make sure that I didn't burn my boats. In other words, I'd rent out my London place to ensure that I could always change my mind.

[Racheyg]

Hi op,
We are the same oh wants to move to Brighton. I do also but worry about alienating ourselves from friends and family.

Also I love living in London (well I'm zone 3/4 so going on the back of another thread I'm in the country but take 15 mins to get to Liverpool st) and it's diversity.

Where do you want to move to?

[justwanttoweeinpeace]

I bloody loved London and had to be dragged to the countryside kicking and screaming when DS was born.

Three years later and I now live in the closest bit of countryside I could find to London and wouldn't change a thing. We had a bit of a false start in proper countryside further away and had to recalibrate to get the balance right, but I love it.

If you can, rent rurally for a bit and see how you like it. I'm expecting to be dragged back to the city by DH when DS goes to uni

[soundsystem]

Completely agree with Matilda, it's hard to come back when you leave do you want to be as sure as can be!

How up-and-coming is it where you are? I mean, if you wait it out a bit will it end up like your old neighbourhood? We did a similar move, and I did initially wonder if we'd made a terrible mistake! New area now very strongly resembles the one we left (as loads of people have made the same move!) and we're really happy here now.

[sellotape12]

That's a really god point about calibration Justwanttoweeinpeace. You'll have to tell me which bit of countryside you ended up in if it's close enough! The bosses of my old company all lived in Berkhamstead but think you need mega bucks to live there.

Luckily we do own our home (well, giant mortgage). It's this that is getting me down. We bought this house because it was the last terrace on the street that we could afford. It's winter, house is in the middle of a renovation, it's taking every penny of our life savings, and faces a car park. Plus, all our friends are breaking up and work isn't great. I just feel in such a rut. I wondered about another city, rather than having to do the pricey commute back to London but our jobs are so London-centric.

We have to stay, at least for a while. We just moved to this house and neighbourhood. Yes it's ropey, but I know there's a real Sarf London community spirit and lots of free events and initiatives that I'd miss in reality. I'm not ready to be a Boden soccer mom. Just feeling..bleak!

[JoJoSM2]

Perhaps you could move to the suburbs? We were torn as well, couldn't work out for ages what we wanted until it hit us to live in zone 5. It's very good for commuting - DH takes a direct train into work and always gets a seat + I travel into central London socially 1-2 times a week and it's ok. There's a night bus from Trafalgar Sq too ;) And yet, it's leafy, friendly and within walking distance of fields, sheep and horses. You can drive to the coast in 1h. Not to mention that houses are much better value for money.