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Failing at home schooling

(18 Posts)
Hannah2199 Sun 21-Jun-20 15:10:22

Really struggling to home school my dd age 7. She refuses to do the work or will do the absolute minimum to a very poor standard. The school haven't given us mich work, maybe 20mins for the entire day, often less than that.

I've tried various websites but DD just says I'm not doing that. I've tried praise etc bit doesn't seem to be working. Have tried her picking the topic eg on bite size but shes says she doesn't want to find out about anything?!

On a rare good day we manage an hour's work but for weeks now it's more like 10 mins a day. I feel like a complete failure.

DD has 2 other siblings and I hoped the situation would get better now one of them is at school. The toddler constantly needs attention and will cry or destroy things as soon as my attention is on home school which gives DD the perfect excuse to stop working which doesn't help. OH is working full time, long hours away from home so cant really help.

How much work are people REALLY doing? And how do you get them to do more? Or at least complete the task to the best of their ability? When I was a child I wanted to do my homework etc so I cant understand why my kids will do absolutely nothing. Both myself and OH work very hard at home so they should see that example.

Dd has become very lazy and will write things like cos instead of because. She just cant be bothered. My friend says her child has come on loads while hes been home schooled but I really think mine have gone backwards. I dont know what to do.

Dreading monday and another week of home school.

OP’s posts: |
Mahek Mon 22-Jun-20 12:12:29

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MazDazzle Mon 22-Jun-20 12:25:08

I’ve 3 kids (12, 9 & 4). My youngest completely refuses to engage with anything set by the school. He shouts ‘No!’ and runs away. My 9 year old maybe does an hour. She takes pride in some things, but in others she does the absolute minimum. My eldest has a carry on each day about school work. She huffs, puffs and complains, but grudgingly spends 2-3 hours a day on school work. She would get it finished quicker if she just got on with it!

Homeschooling has been tough for a lot of families, mine included. My kids definitely haven’t improved in the last few months and I don’t think I’m seeing the best of their ability.

I’m a secondary school teacher, so currently working from home and my DH is away working for over 2 months. Be kind to yourself! It sounds like you’re trying your best. We’re all finding it tough at this stage.

2020nymph Mon 22-Jun-20 12:29:28

Hi @Hannah2199 I can related this completely, daily battles with my 7 year old who is refusing to do any home learning today, we have agree double tomorrow. My toddler is getting into mischief and I'm trying to wfh 4 days a week. I've got friends who say how wonderful it is and how much their kids are progressing but also friends that have said the just can't do it any more. They don't have the capacity to wfh (in jobs with long hours) and do the home learning.

We're in the south east and counting down the weeks to the summer holidays when we don't have to juggle home learning on top of everything else.

APurpleSquirrel Mon 22-Jun-20 12:33:59

DD (5) has been increasingly reluctant to do any work. Some times she's engaged & does it, other times she loses interest & half-arses it to get it done. I've come to realise she needs the competition & peer pressure of the other children in her class & the praise of her teacher rather than me. Thankfully she has started back at school today & will hopefully be going 4 days a week so we're going to be pretty relaxed school-work wise on the fifth day (both DH & I wfh & have a toddler too) & in 4wks it'll be the summer holidays.
Do what you can I'd say.

slipperywhensparticus Mon 22-Jun-20 12:38:31

Nothing if I'm blunt my 7 year old has sen and zero zest for learning zero attention span

My 11 year old has sen to but he spends so long groaning moaning thrashing and wailing then getting "distracted" he ends up wasting his time (and mine) doing absolute FUCK ALL he is year 6 so can go back for two days however his anxiety is in overdrive so I'm stuck in the will it be worth it scenario

Hannah2199 Mon 22-Jun-20 12:45:30

That's reassuring. My friend said shes getting her daughter - year 1 to do about 5 hours of work a day. I was really shocked!!

Weve managed a bit more today, perhaps an hour this morning in total.

Hard to fit it in round a toddler though, they are not very predictable! Will try and do more this afternoon IF toddler naps.

I'm trying to make home school enjoyable (or at least not too miserable!) Decided to just focus on maths and english and reading. I'll do my own thing as the work the school is setting is frankly pathetic, today they were given one maths question, just one for the entire day! And a write a paragraph on a specific for english that was it.

Counting down until September......

OP’s posts: |
Hannah2199 Mon 22-Jun-20 12:46:37

Also, interesting why a post was deleted above? Didn't read it but I wonder what it said?! blush

OP’s posts: |
2020nymph Mon 22-Jun-20 12:49:08

Hannah2199

Also, interesting why a post was deleted above? Didn't read it but I wonder what it said?! blush


The poster claimed to be a law student offering online tuition.

2020nymph Mon 22-Jun-20 12:51:27

Hannah2199

That's reassuring. My friend said shes getting her daughter - year 1 to do about 5 hours of work a day. I was really shocked!!

Weve managed a bit more today, perhaps an hour this morning in total.

Hard to fit it in round a toddler though, they are not very predictable! Will try and do more this afternoon IF toddler naps.

I'm trying to make home school enjoyable (or at least not too miserable!) Decided to just focus on maths and english and reading. I'll do my own thing as the work the school is setting is frankly pathetic, today they were given one maths question, just one for the entire day! And a write a paragraph on a specific for english that was it.

Counting down until September......


Have you been on Twinkl? It's an education resources site for teachers and parents and you can access different topics and worksheets. https://www.twinkl.co.uk/

Teacup34 Mon 22-Jun-20 12:52:12

I could have written this post my dd is also 7 and refuses to do anything!! I think I'm getting 10 mins max out of her then she will moan and cry say it's to hard and won't do anything. I feel like a terrible parent I worry she will be behind when they eventually go back. I also cannot wait for the school hols so we can just spend time doing fun things without the daily argument over school work!!

LauraAshleySofa Mon 22-Jun-20 13:15:47

My DD is also 7, she's Yr 3.

You can't be failing at this, there will be no tests to grade you and you can't compare to others because we are all teaching our own children who are all so different from one another.

I find what works one day doesn't work the next. My DD is an expert in creating a distraction. She's brighter than she let's on because she doesn't care for a challenge. All in all, I am not thrilled by her attitude most days.

So what's working for us is switching back and forth from paper workbooks to online apps. I like apps as they provide the feedback so I don't have to. Switching tasks and focus and including non curriculum subjects like languages and cooking also helps bring her back to the table. We are lucky to have lots of books so I set reading targets so she has to read a chapter for a treat. I also block the fun apps on the tablet until she's completed some learning, I do this via the parental control panel.

She's doing between 1 and 5 hours a day depending on her mood. If she does 5 hours it's either because she's spent the whole day procrastinating or because I have put a huge bribe in and she's doing a week's worth of work in one day.

We don't do school worksheets. They're unpredictable, sometimes the worksheet has just printed out with the answers already on it. They are usually highly coloured and I am not wasting printer ink on them and they are often topic based and I don't have the resources to engage her in the topic to generate sufficient interest to attempt the tasks.

If she starts Yr 4 having read every day and knowing some of the times tables (not 6s and 7s) I will consider this a win. If not I will just keep working with her for as long as it takes.

MazDazzle Mon 22-Jun-20 13:15:55

5 hours a day? I’d be shocked too!

My primary kids are usually in school 6.5 hours a day, minus 1.5 for lunch/break. Of the remaining 5 hours, if you take away the time it takes to line up, remove coats, unpack bags, get everyone seated, do the register, make their canteen selections, discussion time... etc, they do nothing like 5 hours of school work a day usually.

My DC’s school has been great. They set work daily (sometimes too much mind you) and give feedback on everything submitted. I’m getting a bit fed up of the ‘fun’ challenges that require family participation though and the ones that require bicarb, vinegar and a hot glue gun. Roll on the summer holidays!

Aroundtheworldin80moves Mon 22-Jun-20 13:22:27

My 7yo can be very hardgoing when it comes to her homeschooling. I've had more success by ignoring the school and filliwing her interests. She is currently writing a book on dinosaurs for her English work. She choses a dinosaur each day, and has a list of facts she has to find about it and fill in. Then needs to find a picture to print. It's not exactly a lot of writing, but it's better than the battles we were having. Maths... Found she didn't like the computer. Give her a worksheet and she's happy. We also watch Bitesize Daily. (5-7 and 7-9, I've got a 9yo as well). They sometimes pick aBitesize lesson as well.
In afternoons we do the 'fun' subjects like Art, Music, Science etc.

My DM thinks we aren't doing enough. But it's at least 2-3hrs a day including tantrums.

MutteringDarkly Mon 22-Jun-20 13:23:16

Would it help to take the heat out of it if she was doing it "for" someone else? So an aunt / grandparent / family friend might be delighted to receive a short bit of writing and a picture and might write back? Ot they might be willing to do a video call so she could read to them occasionally? Or if she likes someone famous / a particular biscuit even (!) write to them because you might get free biscuits

I can hear you're not getting much response from the school, and everyone's been cooped up together for so long now, it might help to bring in a new face?

Hannah2199 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:05:40

Good ideas everyone. Thanks.

Havent found twinkl very user friendly at all. I've no idea what topics to search for.

We tried writing to family, she put loads of effort in but barely got 2 lines back from them so she gave up unfortunately.

Will keep trying! Roll on September!

OP’s posts: |
Avidreader12 Wed 24-Jun-20 19:51:11

Try oak acedemy lessons choose your year group it works best start small I.e one lesson a day toning then fun in afternoon etc. For my child if we do it together ie watch the lesson teaching child joins in I help get the paper pencil ready then follow it all through helping child as necessary we like the science topics but you can choose I’m not rigidly sticking to our school as they have said they only going over stuff already so I don’t worry about trying to teach new stuff concepts and you don’t have to tie yourself in knots trying to find right links on twinkle Bitesize etc

AmandaSmith123396 Thu 25-Jun-20 18:34:10

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