DS started school - Good idea or not

(13 Posts)
proactive Fri 05-Sep-08 11:05:33

My DS has just started primary school and seems to be perfectly happy going but doesnt play with any other kids when I drop him off or pick him up. He didn't go to the school nursery as he went to a private one as I work part time.

I also don't know any of the parents and was wondering whether to be proactive ( hence new nickname ) and try and organise a night out for the mums ( and dads too ) .

I am really crap at this sort of thing and was wondering if I made up an invite and gave them to the teacher to put in the bookbags - would the teacher hate me for causing extra work - would the other parents think I'm a saddo with no mates ( possibly true ) . Would any of you go for this kind of thing or would you just bin it and snigger.

Just looking for opinions

nailpolish Fri 05-Sep-08 11:12:20

i dstart with one person at a time
ask ds who he plays with at playtime and ask the mum if shed like to come over wiht her son and they boys can play and you have a natter

it mushrooms from there

when we moved to edinburgh last year my dd started school just a few weeks later and therefore she didnt know anyone and neither did i

good luck

nailpolish Fri 05-Sep-08 11:13:22

or the other thing you could do is start chatting to someone in playground and say you are going for a coffee at the coffee shop, would they like to come?

i think if you start leaving notes they will wonder who its from!

AMumInScotland Fri 05-Sep-08 11:14:10

Not sure - I certainly wouldn't snigger, but when DS was that age I don't know that I'd have felt a night out was that practical. You've got all the kids bedtime stuff to think about, and maybe other kids in the house, so nights out can be difficult.

The usual answer to them not knowing other children is to invite the children round for playdates after school - that way they get to know them one at a time instead of the mass of children in the playground.

singyswife Fri 05-Sep-08 11:15:33

Maybe there is someone on here whos child goes to the same school. However, I would start with a simple comment to someone you know is waiting for a small child, something like, dont they look cute then it should take off from there. Where are you btw?

proactive Fri 05-Sep-08 11:26:54

Thanks for the replies. When I ask my DS who he played with - he says can't remember. I think I'm stressing that he isn't enjoying school and he isn't making any friends.

He goes to Flora Stevenson

I am trying to chat to the parents in the playground. I'm finding it a bit difficult as a lot of them seem to know each other already so don't want to barge in.

I won't put the note in as I would have felt really awkward about it. Oh to be a natural extrovert !! instead of a bit of a bumbler. I think I prefer being reactive

nailpolish Fri 05-Sep-08 11:28:33

have you thought about joining the pta?

dont worry about ds - its still early days yet smile

soon the birthday party invites will start appearing and you will get chatting to the mums there

SpeccieSeccie Fri 05-Sep-08 11:41:03

Why does meeting people have to be so hard? (I know, I know, tonnes of threads on this!) I think the invites-for-playdates is a really good idea and can't fail to introduce you to other parents.

Is your main worry about your DS making friends? Flora Stevenson is a lovely school (I went there!) but having changed schools several times myself I remember it did take a while to settle in to places.

proactive Fri 05-Sep-08 13:04:54

I suppose I am worried that because I don't know anyone that he wouldn't receive any invites to play. But I am going to stop stressing about it and just let things naturally develop which suits the way I am usually ( when I don't have a DS starting school and therefore turning me into a deranged type mother )

Anyway thanks again and I will go baCK TO MY more normal approach to life

nailpolish Fri 05-Sep-08 13:07:30

whether your son gets invited to playdates or not has nothing to do with whether the other mother knows you or not smile

playdates dont usually involve the parents. usually its something along the lines of the other mother will collect your son from school, they chiildren play together for an hr or 2 then she will either dropoff your son at your house or you arrange to collect him

you can then use the opportunity to have a natter

proactive Fri 05-Sep-08 13:21:33

Ah so that's how playdates work. I thought it was parents getting together and their kids playing.

Honestly I really am a bloody amateur at this parenting malarkey !! I can't remember my parents spending much time worrying over their 3 DC as much.

TheCrackFox Fri 05-Sep-08 22:21:20

Hi proactive - maybe your DS is like mine? He never talks about school or claims he can't remember. I was worried he had no friends as I never saw him play with anyone when I picked him up or dropped him off. I asked his teacher about this at the first parents night and she told me he was one of the most popular boys in his class.

If you are worried please speak to his teacher and she can nudge him towards children that he might get on with. Flora Stevenson is a lovely school and I am sure he will flourish there.

FWIW - it has a massive nursery and alot of the children do not go on to the school. Also there will be lots of children like your DS who went to private nursery, he will settle in soon.

MadamAnt Sat 06-Sep-08 09:45:57

proactive - how old is your DS? I have a 3.5 yr old DD who would be a very willing playdate chum. I'm assuming you must be fairly near me as DD is also in the FS catchment area (although she's currently as Stockbridge Nursery). Fee free to CAT me if you think your DS wouldn't be appalled at the idea of playing with a girl (albeit a fairly rough and tumble one).

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